Discover

Chapter 11

 It's shorter than usual since it's a filler chapter, but it's important because everything else depends on these thoughts from now on!

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Copyrighted

Chapter 11

By now I had had enough. My face was red and pretty much boiling from anger. I didn’t know if I could take anymore. It wasn’t enough that I had just gotten into a fight with the only boy I loved; I had to get this stupid letter to make everything just that much more confusing. I couldn’t understand why whoever wrote it would think it was funny messing with me. Did they enjoy seeing my relationship get ruined; my life fall apart and my friends start to hate me while they pulled my strings? Was my life really that entertaining to an outsider?

Scowling I decided I would shift into my wolf, so I could think things through. If I shifted it would be easier because nobody would be able to disturb me and I would have my whole mind to myself hopefully. I didn’t want to repeat the last incident where I heard my father. It would be like I was in a box all alone. Well technically I would be in a wolf, but that doesn’t matter. Nobody really cares…

My friends ditched me because I was supposedly acting weird, when I was trying at act as normal as possible. Had I gotten carried away with the whole acting normal thing? I couldn’t decide what I had done to make them hate me from one moment to the other. Had they noticed I had changed?  It didn’t really matter now though. After all I had gone through I realized they weren’t worth making my life miserable. They just proved they weren’t true friends.

Slowly I sneaked into the woods, hoping to get away from any prying eyes before I shifted. I didn’t want my brothers coming after me. After I glanced around to make sure nobody was around, I hid behind a tree and my body took over. Carefully I let my bones alter themselves into my wolf form, while I bared the pain the best I could. If the smallest yelp, cry of even whimper left my mouth my brothers would be here in seconds. They would probably leave anything they were doing in half to protect me.

Now in my wolf form I could sense every animal in the woods. There was a squirrel about 5 meters above me, a heard of deer about a mile away, a rabbit a few feet in front of me and a pack of wolves about 7 km away. My inner wolf wanted me to join them, but I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Who knew what mess I could get myself into...? Instead I ran in the other direction, towards the deer. I could tell there was a lake near them, where I could do my thinking.

I ran towards the small of the water and tried to avoid every animal in my path, just so I wouldn’t have to encounter any awkward exchange where the animal could tell I wasn’t a real wolf. This obviously wasn’t the best way to do it, but I didn’t have any better ideas at the moment.

Whisking past trees, I started to hear the trickling of the water, which I was headed for. Even from a distance I could tell the body of water would be full of fish. I wasn’t sure it was a lake now, but I knew it was water and to my luck, even the deer had moved away from it now.

By the time I arrived to the river no animal was even close to the source of water. In a way I thought I had scared all the animals away, just like my friends. They probably thought I was weird, confused and everything but normal. The animals most likely decided I was a wolf who wasn’t in their right mind so they decided to ditch me, just like Abby, Shawn and Ryan. There weren’t even fish in the river any more, or not where I was at least. A few birds had stuck around, but stayed at a distance. I guess you could think of them as Chris and Hannah. They were friends who didn’t dare come too close. They were like friends who still knew there was a reason to be careful around you. I’m not sure what you could call them, but they weren’t true friends either.

Lying down next to the river I stared at my reflection. My white fur sparkled against the clear blue water. It was still perfectly clean, though it seemed to fall more naturally now. It seemed to have grown a little since the last time I shifted, though it might just seem that way because I didn’t really look at myself the first few times. My bluish, yellow eyes stared back at me gleaming. Another person wouldn’t be able to tell, but I had a feeling some other sole was also inside of my body now. I felt panic rise up inside of me, but pushed it away after the feeling faded. Closing my eyes I let my thoughts consume me.

My mind drifted towards Megan and Tyler who had tried convincing me to join their group of friends. They had seemed to get along so well, but I couldn’t fit myself into that picture. Seeing myself promenading the halls along with them was something that I found impossible. Just inside the group I would stick out like a sore thumb. Every single one of them looked so perfect that they could be considered gods. I wasn’t even close to being as beautiful as they were, not to mention the fact that they were all so close. It was like they could read each other’s minds.  I would feel like I was missing out on some inside joke all the time. Deciding not to join them was probably a good decision, though I could never be sure. They all seemed so sweet. I could also be missing out on one of the biggest opportunities of my life... I stopped pondering about the group before I changed my mind about joining.

Besides the group I also had Mrs. Wolfe and homeroom to think about. Mrs. Wolfe was really nice, I knew that, but I could never be sure about her. Behind her sweetness I sensed a mysteriousness that she was trying to hide from us. In a way it was like she knew a secret and was keeping it from us. Maybe it really was that way. If my brothers had liked her she must be a good person. They always knew how to find a person’s true personality, even if they were hiding it. She must be someone special to them, if my own brother had told me to talk to her.  

I had a feeling I would probably like her if she wasn’t our homeroom teacher. The personality I saw in class proved she was serious, but still laid back and cool. She knew where the line was pulled and didn’t step over it. I could never be sure, but there was always a chance that the only reason I didn’t exactly like her was because she taught my homeroom. The class that had started ruining my life…

The whole mess started with my shifting, and then that stupid homeroom class which had messed almost all of my relationships up. My friends started ditching me after that class, I had a fight with Chris because of it, the new group started cornering me after it and they all told me to get help and talk to someone. Everything seemed to lead back to Mrs. Wolfe and talking to someone about my problems. It wasn’t like my parents were going to help me very soon.

Last of all there were those letters, which I considered pranks trying to pull my strings. I didn’t even want to start and consider which boy could be writing letters like that to me. I was barely known in school, didn’t have many friends outside of school and most people knew Chris and I had a close harmonious relationship. Well, had at least. The person who was sending the letters was either a stalker, or they really did like me so much that they would even try to get rid of Chris to be with me. The only thing that really scared me with that was the fact that the anonymous writer of the letter could read my thoughts. I had never told anyone about the letter, or that I didn’t believe it was written for me. That was the creepiest part of the whole thing.

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Calmer now, I forced myself to shift back into my human form, before I began making my way back home. I didn’t want to have to take a longer route again, just because I didn’t want other animals to see me as an awkward wolf. They could see me as a human. It wouldn’t really matter than. They would just run away again. I guess it was something I would just have to get used to. Nobody wanted my company. There was nothing else to it.

Slowly I made my way towards our house knowing that when I arrived I wasn’t going to do anything else, but go straight to bed. I was overwhelmed with everything happening. My brothers and their girlfriends, homeroom, Mrs. Wolfe, my parents, my former friends... It was all so much. I was going to have to talk to Mrs. Wolfe sooner or later, and for now I choose later.