Poetry collection 1

I want to be a survivor.

I was present there when two people were talking about another.

"She exaggerates everything."

"Don't mind her, for she is exaggerating."

and so I asked.

"Was she always like that?"

But they did not  answer me.

The younger me can only stare blankly at this situation.

No, even now I can not grasp what I have experiened.

You do not understand, do you?

They were all friends but they are stabbing each other's backs now.

One wants to create a inferno 

Another is talking ill about the first.

I might be wrong but I am scared to even be near them.

What if I too have become one of them?

A backstabber? A two faced beast?

"I am sorry" 

but that will never be enough.

I have disappointed myself.

I am not only a victim but also a culprit.

Even if  I can not be forgiven for all my sins.

I want to be a survivor.

"I will never do that again. I promise."

Where did that confidence come from?

When I never did keep that promise.

I only tell that to myself and I even break it away silently.

but I still want to be a survivor.

I used to be so lively and carefree.

I had a lot of friends

Both boys and girls

We played together all time.

Every time we had a chance.

What about now?

I don't even know where they are.

Will they be happy to see me again?

Will I be happy to see them again?

What is this feeling?

Everything out there is questioning me

Am I worth of being a survivor?

It wasn't once or twice.

I hear it too often now.

I hear someone talking about something unpleasant.

Unpleasing and unbelievable.

How can they talk to a teacher like that?

I have never heard anyone who talk like that when I was younger.

They say it as if  it was meant to be said.

Do they take her as a joke?

What if I become one of them?

What if I talk to elders like I talk to a friend or like someone who always wants to right?

They do not understand, do they?

What respecting elders truely mean

It'll be something that you will want for yourself too 

Respect...It's earned not given.

How can one expect to receive it if they don't give it?

How pathetic

But I want to be a survivor among them.