What She Never Knew

sincerly, victim

I was blind to the hurt and deaf to the words
I was silent and I wouldn't be heard

I couldn't feel the knife to my heart
I didn't know what I did that was my part
I was numb from the pain of no hope and strain

Everyone had sun but I had rain

You knew I was wandering in the dark

Tripping over branches, leaves and wooden bark
My excuses and fake smiles never seemed to fool you
I was stuck with a bully and no one knew it too
You spit out insults like chewed pieces of gum
You picked me off like a shirt covered in scum

I was capable of more than we both thought

You knew that if I told the teacher you wouldn't really be caught
You always left me in the dust
Year after year I began to rust
Day after day
Fray after fray
I went home to mend my empty heart
But my sewing skills seemed to fail me
You cut my stitches and left me with open wounds
That bandages couldn't fix
I clogged the drain night after night
And made sure no own could see me cry

As if I don't know that words really hurt

As if I don't know stones don't bruise
Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will always hurt me
Sticks and stone will break my skin
But words are ghosts that haunt me
My cuts and bruises now have healed
But words are what I remember
I can't give my memories or share my thoughts
I can't donate my breath or my heart beats
Live the moment is what they say
But what if my moments are filled with fear in tears
Everyday of my life I lived in survival mode
Trying to live on telling myself I'm worth it

I'm a candle in the wind

My spark is taken away by my fate settling in
I'm not your school project or guinea pig
Every school seems to have their own dictionary of words updated every year
Stupid
Dumb
Idiot
I used to ask, why me?
Now I know the reason
Because I'm stronger than the array of words you say
I'm stronger than the jerk of any push or shove
And you can't change me anymore
I was a blob of clay waiting to be molded into something beautiful
And now my potter has turned me into a majestic vase
I'm gorgeous inside and out and you knew it too
I've mastered Karate and Tae Kwan Do
I've learned to fight all the hate you've thrown at me
But I stand here strong and brave
Because your words no longer affect me

I didn't know myself until now

I was the rose that made thorns beautiful
And I assure you
Laughing yourself to sleep is better than crying
I will probably never meet you again
But you should know that
I forgive you
And that's all that matters