What She Never Knew

Dear Daughter

If I ever had a daughter, she would be name Joyce. She would be my beautiful joy, the one thing I would live for. If I ever had twins, now their names would be Melody and Harmony. I would tell my daughter that she was a stunning diamond that couldn't be broken, she would always shine. I would want her to know not to waste time with boys because in the end, they all break your heart. I would want her to look in the mirror every morning and love her body. If she didn't like that she was eating too much and had gained weight, then I would help her through the process, running and eating healthy along side her. I would want to teach her the little tricks and life hacks I learned from my mistakes growing up a girl. I would let her try things on her own and mess up along the way. I would write a little note in her lunch everyday, just to remind her that mommy loves her. I would show her the world, step by step discovering culture and beauty within. I would let her talk, and I would listen. We would have tickle fights and movie nights. We would play soccer and football together, and maybe go roller blading too. I would tell her that she could always tell her mommy anything, and I would always understand. I would kiss her goodnight and tell her stories from when she was little. I would take millions of pictures of her and make sure she remembered every special little moment. Sure, I might embarrass her a few times, but I would always make it up by taking her to get her favorite ice cream, rocky road. I would tell her the tales from my childhood and give her lessons from them. I would love her unconditionally.

You see, I never want my daughter to be a bully or be bullied. I never want her to hide tears and cuts. I never want her to consider her suicide deep in her heart. I never want her brain filled with the mean names and things she has been called since kindergarten. I NEVER want my daughter to go through any pain I did. If my daughter wants to play line backer, then I will be in the stands cheering till my voice is dead. If my daughter wants to ice skate her way to the Olympics, the heck yea I will be massaging every ache and pain away from her. If my daughter just wants to be a baker, then let's get to our flour fight! If my daughter wants to be a NASCAR driver, then I will tape a picture of our family on the door.

No, I don't want my daughter to be perfect. No, I don't want my daughter to go through life without pain. I only want her to think she can do anything, and then do it. I want my daughter to think she is special and unique in everything she does. I want her to push herself, not me push her. One day, I will look back to this and remind myself I have a daughter to live for.