Thikaana

Eighty Eight

Sidharth was just so shaken up and taken aback with what she just said. She was doing all of this to be able to let it all out? But why? Why was she trying to relive it all again? Was living through it once not enough that she was now trying to do it again? Yes, he did want to be a part of everything, but not like this, never like this.

Something that hurt and broke her so terribly, something that shattered her beautiful heart so much and so badly, how was he going to let her relive it all over again just so that he can be a part of it. he could already feel this unsettling and inexplicable heaviness taking over his chest and pushing him down.

His Sana, she had already gone through hell and now that she was back and still trying to heal, how was he yet again going to sit and let her break herself once more.

He could understand why she wanted to get drunk and do it. this way, it would be easier for her to shed her inhibitions and let it all out without thinking or feeling too much but the pain would still be there.

He had just quietly poured her another drink on her insistence while she sat there quietly staring at him with everything in her. her face, it was just something.

He could see the slight rush of blood on her cheeks, tinting them slightly red and her eyes, glassy and clear and so full of love. and then her gaze.

She was looking at him with this inexplicable insane amount of love. He had no idea how to describe it.

He pushed the full glass aside and turned towards her, grabbing both of her warm hands in his. He slowly brought them up to his mouth and placed a kiss to her hands.

"Mera bacha, meri baat sun. Sana, baba you don't have to do this. It's not important. It's not in the way for us to move ahead. Just give us time, main hoon na tere paas?

Hum theek ho jayenge dheere dheere bacha. You'll be okay my love. Aur tu meri hai na, mujhe koi shikayat nahi hai Sana. You're so perfect.

More than perfect. You're not being unfair to me in any way, pagal hai tu? Aisa kyun soch rahi hai meri jaan?" he asked her softly, caressing her hair away from her face.

Her face softened and she slowly blinked.

"Tujhe apne aapko uss sab se phir guzaarne ki har giz zaroorat nahi hai baba, aur abhi aisay tou bilkul nahi.

Main tere paas hoon na, tou tu kabhi bhi baad mai baat kar sakti hai agar tujhe kabhi karni ho, why right now baba? I don't want you to . Please don't Sana" he almost begged, looking in to her glassy eyes.

She slowly grabbed his fingers from her face and wrapped her own around them.

"Sidhaarth?" she dragged his name slightly.

"Haan meri jaan" he responded almost instantly.

"Aap...sab se best ho..sab se best se bhi zada best...har second, hamesha..mera sab kuch ho...par...please, just let me.

Aaj nahi tou kal, I have to. I know myself..aap se jab tak nahi baantu gi, kabhi move on nahi kar paungi, every single day, every moment, it'll keep haunting me.

One thing or the other. I don't...want that for us. So bas aaj..hum Yahan hai na, ek anjaan jaga, ek anjaan country main, ek nayi environment main..so bas Yahan mujhe sab bahir nikaal k, aur yahin chor k jaana hai.

Mann pe bohat bhaari lagta hai Sidharth, jab se wapis aaye hain Punjab se, tab se lagta hai..jese..something is constantly weighing me down..Yahaan" she mumbled softly and instantly dragged his fingers down and pressed them on her chest.

His eyes widened slightly and his heart sank.

He was at a loss of words. His dark eyes slowly flickered down to where she had pressed his fingers. He could feel the thumping of her precious heart under his fingers. He slowly parted his lips.