It's been a week since I got that note from my prick of a mom. I didn't want to stay at my house, guilty I stayed there before by myself. But when someone is threatening to kill you, you wouldn't exactly be safe and sound. Its been hell without jack, I haven't talked to him in a week. A fucking week, and I'm getting weaker by the day.
Jack has also been leaving every night at 12, I'm assuming he goes to a bar to get drunk but he comes back perfectly fine at 3:00 then that leaves me with the only other assumption; he's cheating.
But would you really call it cheating? I mean, he never really asked me to be his boyfriend, therefore he is free to do whatever he wants, including fuck other people. That's what pains me the most.
I just got back from hanging with hayes and Aaron and you guessed it (bitch you guessed it CX, its a song) there were being all lovey dovey and shit, which made my heart ache even more for jack and his sweet kisses.
Anyway, I walk to the counter to get a cup of water when I see a note on the counter, similar to the one my 'mother' left I pick it up and read;
Dear jack,
We need to take a break, its not working well like this, look at us. Your just taking my happiness away, we need to take a long break. I knew this would happen, that's why I never asked you to be mine. I would've never done this if I didn't lose feelings for you and your deep blue eyes. Don't wait up okay? I'm sorry. The love isn't there anymore
-Jack
I drop the cup from my hand and I read the note rapildy over and over. This can't be happening, what did I do to deserve this? In a note. A fucking note... Two notes saying goodbye, within a week? Nothings stopping me now... I grab the sticky notes near by and a pen.
I'm sorry for the inconvenience. X
That's all I wrote before I packed my bags, left the spare, lonesome key on the granite top next to the note and walked out the door.
Now, you might be wondering. Why the hell aren't you bawling your eyes out? Honestly though, I don't even know why. I guess I'm just physically and emotionally numb from everything. I'm dead, I'm frozen, I'm paralyzed and dazed, I'm just numb. Senseless.
I walk across the street, since the turn is on the opposite side. Not even looking for cars, just stating straight foward, theirs a faint honk but like I said, I'm losing my senses, so I don't hear it that well.
When I finally arrive at the empty, neatly placed home I drop the bags I had in the lonely room, with the lonely black walls, the black dresser, the black bed set, the lonely posters on the wall of lonely quotes, the familiar black pouch that carries the familiar shiny silver objects.
(If your not comfortable with reading about cutting, don't read this part, I'll put stars when its over)
If I'm going to do this, I would want to do it peacefully. So I walk to the ebony colored stereo and plug in my phone, playing bulletproof love by pierce the veil.
I walk to the pouch and unzip the pocket, carefully pulling out the small, yet deadly object. I walk to the black painted bathroom and sit in the bathtub, no water running.
I start to sing softly to the music.
My love for you was bulletproof
