YE TERI MERI DARMIYAAN

chapter 11

Life unscripted ( name given to aarohi 's personal diary )

Kuch baate ankahee si ( dated : June 23rd 2023 )

Aaj zindagi ki uss moda pe hai jaha khud ke upar hasi aarahi hai.........  ki......  kitni badnaseeb hai hamari yee zindagi......... jaha pe apna kehne ke liye koyi nahi hai......,  Hamari iss khamoshiyono ko dekhne waala koyi nahi hai. Hume andar se dard ho raha hai...............usse dekhne waala koyi nahi hai. Aapna hoke bhi koyi apna nahi hai hamara..........., Paraya hoke bhi sab paraye hai. Ye dil tadap raha hai.......... ki koyi toh ho jise hum apna keha sake...........  koyi toh ho jise hum apna maan sake. Jo hume hug kare aur console kare chahe baat kitni hi silly kyun na ho. Hamari har baat ko sune...............samje. Hamari har bakwaas ko sune. Par yesi naseeb hamari kaha........?Jaise hum apno ki dard dekh sakthe hai kaash....... Kaash............  koyi toh yesa ho iss duniya mein jo hamari bhi dard dekh sake............feel kar sake.

Although hamari family....,  friends they love me a lot but i cannot be myself in front of them. I want to be myself in front of that person..........., express myself without any fear........

Chahte toh hai ki koyi aaye hamare zindagi mein but......................zyada expectations bhi nahi rak sakte i will end up getting hurt. Abhi yesi life ki na aadat ho gayi hai............ abhi iss zindagi se na.......... koyi bhi expectation nahi hai..........abhi hamara ek hi moto hai ki just go with the flow.

But still kisi khone mein i wish next time jab hum likhe toh........kuch acha hua ho hamare saath. Ise ke saath mein tumhe alavida kehte hai mere dost. Hope so ki phir mulakat hogi.

(Aarohi thought to herself reading her old part of life: kesi thi hamari life...........)

(Dated : september 16th 2023)

Aaj hum bohath dino baat kuch likh rahe hai. I never thought that my last words woh sach ho jayega ha now......... i am not alone anymore ....... I am not lonely......... I have my best friend aditya....... My adi -tude who supports me no matter what......... Wh.....   Who........takes care of me no matter when......He understands me just by looking at my face.......,My eyes.......

Today he called me ruh........ And i felt zoo of butterflies in my stomach. Aditya is a really good person.......... He takes care of me like a child.... Today he was scolding me because i was careless about my health....... I really felt very good to hear that.........

But i am scared what if he also leaves me like deeksha, avni and ganvi......... I will not be able to handle it.........i can't imagine my life without him now........... He has become a part of my life........I will really die if he goes away from me.......... If aditya was here listening to me then he would say :  "why do u have to talk nonsense all the time........, why dont u think about your family ur friends and what about me ..? If you talk such nonsense again then mujhse bura koyi nahi hoga samji kya..... " i giggled.

Ha.... Ha........ I don't know but.......... i think i like him....... How can i not fall for a person like him........? Who is so loving....., so caring? But the fact i can't forget that he can never be mine.........He deserves someone better............ who would give him the love he deserves who will his best and only choice........... And not a person like me.

Log toh bohat Dekhe hai par.........tere jaisa koyi nahi, mehsoos toh bohat kiya hai par......... iske jaisa kabhi nahi, jante hai..........hamara aur tumhara milna na mumqin hai par ee dil hai ki manta hi nahi.

But i fear that what if he gets to know about my past? Will he leave me like........ others? Will he consider me as impure like others? Will he break our friendship? I am not sure should i tell him about my past? I don't know........ I dont know anything......... But i know that aditya will support me no matter what