Undesirables, Unmentionables, & Underachievers

2: Finding Out You're Apparently in Gay Porn

*Gerard's POV*

"Excellent point, Mr. Way," the sociology professor stated when I finished my argument. I sunk down in my seat, doing my best not to be noticed.

Normally I wouldn't rant about anything in front of a lecture hall full of so many other students, but I had gotten a little carried away with my emotions. Equality is something I feel strongly about.

I looked up at the clock on the far wall, waiting for the moment the class would be dismissed. I had laundry I needed to do and an essay I needed to write; I desperately needed to get back to my dorm room and get a start on it.

"Gerard had some splendid points. Any one care to counter?" Our professor continued. A few people joined in the conversation, but I wasn't paying them much attention. I was still trying to let my nerves calm down after realizing what I'd just done.

I tried to distract myself, focusing on the beat being tapped on the armrest of a dark haired boy wearing all black sitting two rows in front of me.

Every few seconds, a boy with dark black hair in a galaxy print sweatshirt kept whispering to the boy with the tapping fingers. They were sat next to each other and were obviously close on more than just a literal level.

The boy with the tapping fingers kept smiling and trying not to laugh each time the other boy whispered. They looked happy, smiles lighting up their whole faces, crinkling the corners of their eyes.

I tried not to envy them, but it was difficult. I couldn't help but bitterly imagine how wonderful their lives must be, especially in comparison to my own. I'd only just recently gotten my life together and I was seriously missing the disorder and decay of my old life. Nothing said happy like a bottle of pills or a binge drinking session with my friends- well, acquaintances with similar interests of death and destruction.

I'd been clean for a while now, but that didn't mean I didn't miss it. Finally, the professor told us we could go, saying something about a book we were supposed to read for tomorrow. I figured I'd ask Patrick, my roommate, what the assignment was later. He was somewhere in the lecture hall, but I didn't see him leave.

As I hurried down the steps and toward the exit, I heard my name in someone else's conversation.

"Hey, Dan? Isn't Gerard Way the name of some pornstar you like?"

I turned to see who was talking. It was the dark-haired boy in the galaxy print shirt. He was talking to the boy with the tapping fingers, who was now drumming out a beat on his leg as they walked.

I turned back around, slowing my pace and trying to hear them over the chatter of other students leaving.

"Yeah, but there's no way it was the same guy. I think I'd recognize him," the boy, apparently called Dan, replied. They each had an accent. I guessed they were British.

Trying not to distract myself with minor details, I listened as the first boy spoke. "Why do you even watch those anyway? They're so cheesy."

"I watch them ironically, Phil. How could I not watch something called Gerard Way Has His Way With Young Twink?" Dan said, laughing. I could picture the way his face was probably lighting up, as it had before during the lecture when Phil- I think that was his name- whispered to him, but I didn't turn around for fear that they would notice my eavesdropping.

"Okay I saw that one. Gerard is a twink himself," Phil pointed out.

My mind was racing, trying to figure out who this "Gerard Way" in gay porn was.

"Like you aren't," Dan countered, giggling. I glanced back, seeing Dan poke Phil in the side.

"Ow!" Phil exclaimed. "That hurt, Dan."

"Like it would if I had my way with a certain young twink next to me?" Dan said, voice lowering.

I took that as my cue to stop listening.

I immediately began combing through memories from the past few years, trying to figure out if somehow I'd gotten drunk or high (possibly both) and filmed a gay porno. It seemed unlikely, but stranger things have happened.

I hurried out of the lecture hall, pulling up safari on my phone. I turned the volume down the whole way before typing in the search bar, "Gerard Way has his way with young twink".

I clicked enter and waited anxiously, nervously glancing over my shoulder as I walked, worried someone might see me searching for porn on my phone in public.

The search results came up quickly and I felt my jaw drop. I was going to kill Mikey.

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