~<*>~ Pain in me ~<*>~

Chapter 16

Scoups crosses his arms while he stares at Joshua.
"You're angry because I banned Jun, right?" the leader asks.
"I sure am, but you probably have your reasons for that. I want to talk about something else", Scoups states and Joshua blinks surprised. 
"Thanks, I guess. Go ahead, you did seem mad before the mission started", Joshua mumbles.
"Are you going to kill everyone who gets in your way?" Scoups blurs out angry and Joshua coughs startled.
"What?"
"First Dino, now those two cops", Scoups explains, gritting through his teeth.
"Those two cops were in defense, if you didn't tell Jun to go, we woudln't have attacked those policemen", Joshua explains calmly.
"So it's my fault? Great", Scoups scoffs.
"And I suppose Dino told you the truth", Joshua continues, ignoring Scoups' comment.
"Maybe you should think twice before you lie in my face," Scoups says, "I can't believe I trusted you so easily."
"Do you know why you trusted me?" Joshua responses.
"Because we used to be the best of friends. We were inseperable, Jeonghan, you and me. And ever since Jeonghan died, we fell apart. Why? What happened that caused us to be like strangers?" Joshua adds with tears coming up in his eyes.
"People change, Joshua", Scoups says softly.
"No, people meet other people", Joshua objects frustrated.
"Why do you keep blaming Dino for everything!?" Scoups exclaims angry.
"Because he is the reason everything fell apart! He met you and took you away from me! He then was the reason you got shot and while you were out, he caused Jeonghan to die! Then he was also the reason you went to jail, how is this not Dino's fault!?" Joshua yells desperate, tears streaming down his face.
"Jeonghan and I chose to do what we did, Joshua. We could've chosen to let Dino be, but we didn't", Scoups tries to reason with Joshua. He didn't realize Joshua cared so deeply about him.
"I wish you did," Joshua mumbles, "and that stupid jerk also blamed me for all that he has done." Scoups tilts his head confused.
"What?" he asks surprised. 
"Why do you think I attacked him in the first place?" Joshua scoffs. When the leader notices Scoups being shocked, he smiles toxic.
"I'm not te only one who is lying to your face", Joshua says satisfied while he watches Scoups' expression darken slowly.

~<*>~

"Are you going to fix something or what?" Aylen asks impatient. Dino shakes his head chuckling before he speaks to his phone.
"Take it easy, I'll organize something. I just haven't had the time yet to ask him", Dino says and he hears Aylen clicking her tongue.
"I hope he's wanting to meet me", she mumbles and Dino can't keep in his laughter anymore.
"What?" she asks puzzled.
"It's just that you're acting like a teenager in love, you don't even know Scoups!" Dino says smiling and a silence falls upon the two friends.
"You don't know him, right?" Dino asks, suddenly uncertain. If there's one thing he has learned from the past years, it's not to trust people too quickly.
"Of course I don't know him? Where should I know him from anyway?" she answers chuckling and Dino exhales relieved. Right at that moment, Scoups storms inside and Dino gets startled seeing his eyes. His face looks like a thunderstorm.
"I'll uh, I'll call you back", Dino mutters quickly before hanging up and he turns around to face his roommate.
"Where have you been?" Dino asks and Scoups puts his hands on his hips angry.
"Getting some answers. Answers I didn't really like, to be honest", Scoups grits through his teeth and Dino's heart skips a beat. Did Scoups go to Joshua after all that happened? Of course he did, it's Scoups.
"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" the older asks and Dino stares at his friend speechless.
"Is it fun?" Scoups adds after a few seconds of silence.
"Is what fun?" Dino asks confused.
"Using me like an object, manipulating me, only caring about me when you want to. Why is everybody using me like I'm nothing? It's not because I'm having a hard time returning from jail that I'm weak!" Scoups spits out while Dino blinks surprised. Why does his friend think like this?
"Nobody is using you for anything", Dino objects.
"Why won't anyone tell me the truth then? First Joshua, then you, and I have a feeling Wonwoo and Mingyu aren't telling me everything either!" Scoups rants and Dino swallows some spit to prevent him from spilling his friends' secret. 
"We don't want to hurt your feelings", Dino tries to calm Scoups down, but his roommate soon cuts him off.
"Bullshit!" he yells, "You don't give a damn about my feelings. When is the last time we had a nice conversation? When was the last time you asked me how I was doing? When was the last time we were friends!?" The words hit Dino like a bomb, the younger has trouble not to cry.
"Scoups, what is wrong? Is it too much? I know the mission was rough, but..."
"See! You're doing it again! You're treating me like a child to make me feel better, until you've had enough and you just drop me! Just like Chan did, you guys are no difference", Scoups spits out and Dino gasps in shock.
"I get that Chan hurt you, but I am nothing like him. You're going too far, Scoups", Dino says firmly, he does feel a bit hurt. 
"Am I though? Because I have a feeling it won't take long before you'll abandon me. If I had a girlfriend, I'm sure you would cheat on her just like he did. You make the group fall apart, you made Joshua mad, you're taking everything away from me!" Scoups yells and Dino steps closer to his friend, but Scoups steps back to keep his distance.
"What if Joshua is right and you are the reason we all die? What if I was too late that day, would you have killed Joshua with that bottle? Chan would have done the same thing, how are you any different from him?" Dino wants to scream and curse, but he can't say anything right now. He needs to stay calm so he can help Scoups. Dino doesn't know what is friend is doing right now, but Dino knows he'll need him soon enough, so he takes another step closer and this time, Scoups doesn't step back.
"I would never do something like that! I'm your friend!" Dino resists softly, trying to convince his roommate.
"No, you're not! Chan said the same thing and look where it ended!" Scoups exclaims and Dino snaps. He has had enough of it, he can't watch this any longer. The younger quickly steps forward again and hugs Scoups tight, but his friend tries to resist and starts to do all he can to free himself. In the proces, they slam against a wall, but Dino won't let go.
"Let go off me!" Scoups shouts, tears streaming down his face.
"Let go! Just let me go, goddamnit!" he keeps on yelling. It breaks Dino's heart to hear his roommate like this.
"I'm not Chan!" Dino suddenly screams which causes Scoups to stop.
"I am not Chan", Dino repeats slowly and it finally seems to start reaching Scoups. The two roommates are out of breath, but Scoups' breathing turns into sobs.
"I will never leave your side, never. I will stay with you until the end." Those words make Scoups calm down and he soon wraps his arms around Dino. The younger smiles, he can share his warmth like Scoups did so many times. For a moment, the two friends only stand still, hugging each other tight. Dino sighs knowing Aylen will be dissapointed he didn't ask Scoups, but Dino doesn't care right now. Scoups is in no condition to meet someone new, he has to heal first, not only fysically, but also mentally. 
"I'm sorry, I broke down", Scoups mumbles, pulling Dino out of his thoughts.
"It's okay, but do you mind telling me what's going on? Why do you bring Chan back up like this?" Dino asks gently, trying not to hurt Scoups even more. It's like he's walking on a bridge made of glass that will break any second. Scoups exhales tired, but still answers anyway after he breaks the hug. 
"You know I had those nightmares after jail, right?" Scoups starts and Dino nods his head, he sure knows them.
"That's not the only thing I got from that horrible time. I'm also stuck with Chan's voice in my head. The doctor in prison told me I probably got PTSS." Scoups stops for a moment to take a breather.
"Shouldn't you go to a therapist then?" Dino asks worried.
"Why would I? I would have to tell everything, including the excistence of the group and the whole war. I would bring you all in danger", Scoups denies firmly.
"But it can't be right that you sacrifice your mental health for us", Dino objects, but Scoups waves it off. He can't be conviced on this decision.
"But why did you keep saying I was like Chan?" Dino changes the subject. He is curious to know, but it also hurt him.
"The distance we have, the changes, it all reminds me of my past with Chan. And I think I'm just scared to lose you like I lost him." Dino smiles sadly trying to comfort his friend and hugs him once again.
"I will never be like Chan, I promise", Dino states.
"Are you sure you can keep that promise?" Scoups asks uncertain.
"I am more sure than I have ever been in my life", Dino assures his roommate.
"Good", the older answers while he lets his head rest on Dino's shoulder.

~<*>~

Joshua looks at his phone in disgust as he watches the two hug so soon again. Ever since Dino and Scoups moved to his apartment, Joshua wanted to make sure he could control everything so nothing goes wrong. And now he's watching a lovey-dovey moment between his best friend and his worst enemy. Of course Dino is nothing like Chan, Chan is even better than that little brat. How can Scoups forgive someone like Dino so easily? Joshua really doesn't get it, Dino hurt Scoups so much and he forgives him in a minute. But when Joshua, his best friend since a long time ago, does one thing wrong, which was to protect Scoups, he is mad and probably never wants to see him again. How is it that Dino has so much more influence on the group and on Scoups? How can Joshua ever be a good leader when Dino keeps on dragging him down? It's not like his team doesn't listen to Joshua, no, they only act like total hooligans when Dino is around. How else can Joshua explain the fact that only now, when Dino joined the Titans, the whole mission failed miserably? But the problem is that only Joshua himself and Woojin see the real problem. Joshua is glad he has someone like Woojin he can count on. And suddenly, that thought brings the leader on an idea. As soon as he can, but also silently because Wonwoo and Mingyu need their rest, he grabs his phone and dails Woojin's number. The phone doesn't ring long before the youngest member actually picks up.
"It's three in the morning, what are you calling me for?" Woojin asks tired. It looks like Joshua woke him up, but this is too important.
"I need you for something big. Something great. Something that will finally bring peace again", Joshua says proud.
"And what would that be?" Woojin asks, trying to sound unbothered, but Joshua hears the curiosity through his voice.
"I have found a way to get rid of Dino", Joshua mumbles softly into the phone and Woojin gasps at the other side of the line. Joshua knows Woojin is loyal and he will deffinetly not deny. Woojin wouldn't dare to resist his own leader. And now Joshua has found a way to get rid of his worst enemy and restore the group as it was, including the friendships. And he can also take revenge for what happened to Jeonghan. Because he isn't getting rid of Dino temporarily, but he's getting rid of that brat for good. Joshua smiles evil knowing he's going to succeed.