Not Like Before

Chapter 25

Mature language

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Chandler's POV

I figured since this wasn't a real date, I wouldn't be nervous. I was wrong.

Zay got permission to take his moms car to the party, so we're currently on our way to Laura's house to pick up her and Jamie.

I can't stop fidgeting, and it isn't because of my ADHD this time. I can't remember the last time I felt this nervous. Not to brag, but I had gotten kind of good at not feeling anything before she came back.

When we finally pulled up to Laura's house, I did my best to swallow my nerves and act like this was any other girl.

But then she came outside, wearing a baby blue dress that hung just above her knees and a white sweater. Her hair was half up and half down with a matching blue ribbon, wavy dark hair cascading down her shoulders. She usually wears dark colors like black or red, so she looked different. But she's absolutely breathtaking, just as much now as the first time I saw her.

With Laura, it doesn't matter if she's wearing a worn out skull t-shirt and some dirty sneakers or a prom dress and high heels, her beauty comes from within and nothing can alter it.

Jamie was wearing a longer, yellow dress and it became apparent that they definitely coordinated their outfits. Zay looked at Jamie like I wish I could look at Laura, but I'm too afraid to.

"Hey!" She says casually as she gets into the car.

She's so oblivious to how beautiful she is. It isn't the dress, or the perfect hairstyle or her bright red lipstick, it's just her. It's that beauty from within that I was talking about.

It's her bubbly personality. It's how she gets angry and loud when she's passionate about something, it's the way her eyes get wide and her nose crinkles up when she laughs. She's perfect in every single way, and I don't know why I try to hide that I feel this way.

I want to be the one who puts that smile on her face, but then I'd have to acknowledge that I have these feelings out loud. I can't do that. I've been hurt too much by things that were out of my control, admitting that I'm in love with Laura would be the same as loading the gun and handing it to her, knowing that surely she would finish the job.

So with a sigh, I shake the thoughts out of my head.

"Hey. You really went all out to piss Bradley off huh?" I say and gesture to the fact that she's wearing a dress. She rolls her eyes.

"Maybe I wanted to look nice for our fake date. It's my first one!" She says sarcastically and Jamie smiles back at her. I smirk and look out the window.

She's also oblivious to what she's doing to me.

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Laura's POV

For this to be a fake date, I'm feeling all the same nerves as I would on a real one. Jamie must've noticed.

"What's got you so worked up? It's not like you actually like him." She shrugs, fixing her hair in the mirror. I don't say anything and let her guess what my silence means.

She looks at me and her eyes go wide in realization.

"You do like him!" She says. It's not a question, Jamie is way too smart for her own good. I haven't even told Ava or Autumn, or literally anyone else. I've barely come to the conclusion myself.

But could those feelings really just go away? I don't think anyone realizes how much I truly loved him. I think all of our friends brush it off as a cute little 9th grade fling. Which I guess is understandable, but we were almost together a whole year.