white flag, steve rogers

018. puppet strings

chapter eighteen
018. puppet strings

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    PAMELA FOUND Natasha at last after she and Steve returned inside. Trying to put the awkward moment behind them, she took her cider and approached the redhead sitting on the white, pristine couches near the champagne, and Steve wandered over to the loud, boisterous stories belonging to Thor on the other side of the room. Pamela could tell he needed a moment to think, or maybe she did▬she didn't know. Maybe it was best to act as if it never happened, like a page edited out of a chapter that didn't work with the overall story; a deleted scene in a movie that didn't even make the directors cut extras▬forgotten and left behind, made to move on from and never return to. Pamela wasn't sure whether that would make it worse. 

    She was sure something was going to happen. She had been sure Steve would have stepped both feet over that line he drew himself. But maybe it was a line of salt, and the ghost of his past could not cross it without counting every grain▬a silly superstition that had come true, and one that Pamela understood. Has the ghost of her own past stepped over her line? Pamela believed so after she helped take down HYDRA in Washington, but now, she wasn't so sure. It made her wonder whether she might just drag him down▬that her problems were a weight not even Steve Rogers could carry on his shoulders. Was she worth it? That was another horrible, devilish question that haunted her. Was Pamela Daniels worth Steve Rogers letting go of what had a vice grip on him from his past?

    Letting go, was that the right way of saying it? Steve Rogers's past was just as much of an integral part of who he was, as the experiences that were shaping him now. He was ripped away from the peace he had deserved, and now he had become a restless spirit in a world he believed he did not belong in. She didn't want him to forget the world he once knew, because those years had been a life where Steve Rogers was known instead of forgotten behind the shield. How could a man who was supposed to be a black and white photo inside a photo frame, a figure in a museum, a veteran sitting with the others across the room, ever be able to step over that line to meet her on the other side? 

    "You look like you need something stronger," said Natasha Romanoff when Pamela sat down beside her. She leaned back in the sofa chair. Romanoff never sat down in a simple position▬she always leaned back, or had her legs propped up, or one foot spread out over the arm of a chair. Even with a dress on, she didn't care. Natasha had her legs crossed like a child sitting on a classroom floor and her beer settled on her lap. Her heels were off and settled on the floor at the foot of the couch. 

     Pamela just hummed and took a sip of her drink, getting comfortable, as well. She tucked her legs underneath her and shuffled up the couch until she was nestled beside the Black Widow. "Punching people is way easier."

    Natasha held her beer bottle out to cheer those words. Pamela smiled slightly and tapped her drink with hers. "I wouldn't give up just yet," she advised as she took a sip. "Steve invited you here, that's a big step for him."

     "I know," murmured the Red Viper, glancing over at where Steve stood beside Thor, and it was amusing to see someone taller than him. She watched the God of Thunder pour a drink out of his flask into Steve's glass, and when he took a whiff of it, his brows knitted▬as if he wasn't sure whether to be intrigued or disgusted by the smell. Pam bit back an amused smile. "He's just a ... hard person to read sometimes. It's like I think things are taking a step in the right direction, and then all of the sudden, things switch and everything is back to where it started."

      "Superheroes are complicated," Natasha said, "believe me. We're all complicated." As she said this, her eyes darted to the side. She might've thought Pamela wouldn't notice, but she did. The Red Viper tilted her head and when she noticed the Black Widow's gaze fall onto Bruce Banner awkwardly chuckling at something Clint Barton was saying, the two of them having a conversation at the bar, Pamela's brow quirked.