Jax x Reader (Fem!Shy!Caring!)

Chapter Nine: Feelings

I was back in my room, it was the place I felt the most comfortable in. This place didn't feel like home, and parts of me did refuse this "new reality" I was thrown into. I don't blame Kaufmo for reaching his breaking point...I feel like I'm about to snap as well at some point. No matter how many adventures I'll succeed in, or how kind everybody is (besides Jax), I don't like living here.

Parts of me refuse to live here, this can't be all there is now, right? I don't want to live here for the rest of eternity. I want to protest, I want to show Caine that he isn't the boss of me--but there's no way I can possibly do that without some sort of consequence. I also don't want these "people" to hate me, since that would make me go insane, that's for sure.

I was lying in bed, with all of these thoughts clouding my brain like some sort of blanket. I felt useless--I didn't know what to do. I hated this feeling, and I knew nobody here could help me. No one.

I groaned in annoyance, knowing the kind of situation I was unwillingly dragged into...and I wish I could do something about it. I hated feeling hopeless. Nobody seemed to know how insane I was becoming because of this situation. And this was only the 2nd day of me being trapped in here, I think.

While contemplating crap, I heard a knock at my door. How many times will my door knock?! I never knew people liked hanging out with me that much.

I stood up from my bed and walked over to the door. I gripped the door knob and took a deep breath. I was not in the mood to speak to anybody right now, but I could care less. I opened the door.

"Jax?" I gasped. "What's up?"

Honestly, I thought he had enough of my crap at this point, but for some odd reason he always seemed to try to grab my attention somehow. Jax simply grinned.

"I'm coming in," He ordered as he pushed me aside. I grunted in annoyance as I closed the door behind us.

"What do you want?" I snapped. My voice came out more mean than I meant it to, but I was just tired of living in this hellish environment.

"What do I want? Well...if you must know, I wanted to 'congratulate' you on your little feat. I'm surprised you won that one, if I were honest. You don't seem like the type of person to actually try to be good at anything. What made you decide to put effort in?"

"I do try to put effort in things, I just don't end up succeeding when I do. This time, I thankfully did."

"Yeah. 'Thankfully.' You don't seem to take us all that seriously, do you? All you do is stay in your room, probably sulking in the process. Aren't you bored? Or do you just hate us thaaat much?"

"I don't hate you guys," I sighed. "I'm just not a social butterfly like you are. I don't need to talk to people to be content in life."

Sure, I was lonely, but I was content without telling people what I thought 24/7. They'd probably be concerned.

"Ohh, that part was obvious. But isn't it lonely being all by yourself all day, besides doing the adventures? Don't you wanna--you know--prevent yourself from going insane?"

"No," I truthfully stated. "I don't care if I go insane. I just need to get out of this hellhole."

"Psh--" Jax laughed. "Tell me about it."

He didn't seem genuine when he said that. No parts of him ever seemed to be genuine.

"Though, what surprised me, is you saying that you 'didn't care.' You don't care if you lose your mind completely?" Jax choked out.

"I mean, not really. I don't give two *beep*. I just want to be all by myself right now. I can't stand your sass currently, no offence."

Jax stifled out a chuckle, though I could tell he was a bit hurt by my comment. "Fine then. It's not like I wanted to hang out with you or anything. Certainly not with an idiot like you. Bye."

Quickly, Jax ran out of the room, closing my bedroom door behind him. I can't help but feel like I did something wrong...did I?

~~~

I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter! Sure, there's a few things I feel like I don't like that much, but overall I really liked it! And I kinda just wanna get to the action already, but trust me! I hope this story will be fun to read. I do hope you liked this chapter though, since I tried writing it the best I can. Once again, if you have any ideas, let me know! I would love to hear them! I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day <3