summary: in which y/n reconnects with harry years after they graduate, and he's her best friend's ex boyfriend
4.4k words
warnings: none!
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(Y/N)'s not sure what "having it bad" is, but she's sure it feels something like this.
It's been a month since they first went to The Cellar and they've been back three times since. (Y/N)'s dresses have gotten tighter and shorter and Harry's hands have gone from brief touches to more prolonged ones and full on grabbing her hand and keeping it held between his. He really enjoys grabbing at her waist as they walk too.
She has no idea what this means though. She has no idea what Harry's thinking about when he sees her. But he looks at her so intensely, she has an inkling of a feeling that he might just be as mixed up about her as she is with him. But she's not sure and she's definitely not going to ask him how he feels about her.
They've also gotten touchier when he drops her off at her doorstep. He'll squeeze her sides and run his hands up and down them, hold her to his chest before kissing her cheek and telling her to have a good night. It's new, but not unappreciated. (Y/N) has also gotten bolder. She brushed away that one strand of hair that falls across his forehead repeatedly. It's the wine, she's sure. And that she feels the most comfortable she's ever felt with him.
They've talked a lot. About their families and their jobs and hobbies. Harry's been extending his trips she's found. He's in Seattle for more than just a week sometimes. But that doesn't mean they see each other too frequently. She's still busy with work and sometimes when she feels more guilty than normal, she'll tell him she can't go out. And despite the frowny faces he sends back or the pouting he does if they're together, she still denies him.
She hasn't talked to Margot, but if she knew, (Y/N)'s certain she'd be crushed. Even if she was the one that ruined their relationship. How would she look if she moved in on her best friend's ex? Not good. And she really doesn't need people tacking unnecessary labels on her. He's too much of a risk. And she doubts he's even interested in her anyway. He just wants someone to go out and get drinks with while on his work trips. He could find someone else in a heartbeat.
Or he could enjoy her company. She doubts it, honestly, but she prefers that over him liking her. It's just not possible. He's much too pretty for her.
Right now, she's snuggled up on her couch watching tv. She has an assortment of snacks surrounding her on the couch and on the coffee table a foot away from her. And she locked in on the true crime program she's decided to watch. It's getting to the good part, so she's got a handful of fruit snacks inches from her mouth as she anticipates who the killer actually was. She's made a guess and she's pretty sure she's right.
And that's precisely when her apartment is buzzed. She jumped, almost spilling the bowl of popcorn in her lap. She quickly set it on the table before rushing to stand up. Who could really be at her door at this hour? The only person that really ever visits her is Adelaide, who she works closely with at work. And she would have called instead of randomly showing up. She sighed before pressing the speaker.
"Who is it?" She hates the thing, but it's nice to have for sure.
"Who are you expecting?" She heard his voice through the crackly speaker and her heart warmed right up. She hates the effect he has on her. It's annoying and she's sure it can't be good for her heart.
"Is this Ben?" She decided to play with him a little bit. It was silent on the other side for a considerable amount of time.
"Who the fuck is Ben?" She lifted her finger from the button so she could giggle to herself. "I'm serious. Are . . . are you really waiting for someone named Ben?" Her eyebrows furrowed at his tone. He sounded dejected and maybe even a little upset. She wasn't sure why. She was only kidding with him.
