faraway - dallas winston

010

i woke up the next morning from my phone ringing. to my relief, my head was not pounding. i let out a deep sigh as i picked up the phone.

"hello?" i checked the time as i spoke. 7:52 am.

"hello? jolene?" dallas was on the other line.

"yeah, why'd you call?"

"i can't pick you up at 9. something came up. walk to the park close to your house at 8 tonight and i'll meet you there." he didn't sound too concerned, but by the way he said, 'something came up,' i knew something was wrong.

he was about to hang up when i stopped him. "wait, wait, wait! what came up?"

"i'll tell you later, alright?"

"alright."

then he hung up the phone.

i laid in my covers, just trying to process what had happened. whenever i do anything at night, it just feels like a dream. like it never actually happened, only in my mind. i can barely remember any of my dreams, actually. but i never really remember what i do at night too.

i tried to remember last night, and dallas calling did kind of help to remind me. two-bit, dallas, and i went to a party, i drank a little too much, pony and johnny were at the door all wet, they talked to dallas, then dallas drove me home after they left. the whole situation was unsettling, johnny seemed in a panic when i saw him.

i got up off my bed to get myself together. i hadn't even washed my face last night.

it was 7:48 and my parents and i were eating dinner at the table. my left leg bounced up and down under the table, as the clock was ticking closer and closer to 8:00.

my parents and i ate, engaging some conversation. i listened to my dad drone about his work for a few minutes, before it got quiet and my mom finally brought up something else.

"jolene, sweetie, did you hear about your cousin bob?" she asked, sniffling a little.

"no, what about him?"

"he was found dead." she cried out.

"really?!" i blinked, shocked. i didn't know how to feel in this moment.

"yes, it was really terrible. he was stabbed."

"oh." the sadness was settling in, but i wasn't going to cry during dinner. i just dug my fork into my mashed potatoes and swirled it around.

"jolene, stop playing with your food. you have to finish your portion, we can't have you binge eating again." my mom said sternly.

"don't worry, i wasn't planning on it." i put a forkful of mashed potatoes in my mouth.

i looked at the clock again. 7:51. i should start walking to the park if i actually want to make it by 8.

i looked around before finally saying. "i'm actually really not hungry."

"but if you don't finish your dinner, you're going to start reaching for snacks." she shook her head.

"i promise i won't, i'm just really tired right now." i gave a really big yawn, to try and convince my mom. my dad nodded, towards my mom.

she sighed, "alright, good night sweetheart."

"good night, love you. love you dad." i said before going to my room.

bob was dead? i could barely process. right now, i was focused on getting to the park to get something from dallas. could johnny and pony could've...? i looked at the clock on my bedside table. 7:56. fuck. i quickly unlatched my window and stepped out carefully. i hung on to the tree right outside my door and made my way down. then i sprinted all the way to the park. it honestly wasn't that far, but i was breathing heavily.

i looked around for dallas, walking around a bit before i found him.

"dallasdidjohnnyandponykillbob." i said in one breath, still heaving.

"well hello to you too." he chuckled.

"hi dallas, did johnny and ponyboy kill bob?" i rolled my eyes.

he nodded, emotionless. when my mom told me, it felt fake. like no way, bob can't be dead. he's alive and well, eating dinner with his family across the street from us. when dallas confirmed, it felt all too real. standing in the middle of the park at night, in the darkness just made it feel all too real. the wind blew against our bodies as i tilted my head down and looked at my shoes. my arms were crossed, trying to make myself warmer, but i felt a cold rush overcome my body.

he pulled me into a hug, his hand on my head, the other on my lower back. i let the first tears roll down my face as dozens followed.

i knew bob brought it upon himself, but i couldn't keep myself from crying. i let out ugly sobs as dallas held onto me tightly. although bob was reckless and a jerk at times, it didn't take away from the fact we were cousins and close friends. he was my first friend. he was always there for me, even when he wasn't. and before two-bit and dallas, bob had been my only real friend. it was like the movies, the last conversation of ours being an argument. the memories of when we were little flashed through my mind, and all i could think of was that little boy i used to run around with, gone. forever.

my cries slowed down as my breathing steadied. i sighed and looked up at dallas.

"you alright?" he asked gently.

"yeah, i'm good."