Stucky smut +18 Oneshots

CHP 17. Help me. part 2~ {SMUT}

Steve turned around, facing Bucky as he gently walked to him. Bucky was in so much pain with his arm, but knowing that Steve was next to him made him feel way better mentally. As he looked at Steve, guilt washed over him like a title wave. It was such a horrible feeling that Bucky instantly wanted to apologize, but when he was about to do sorry, it was like his breath got caught.

It's not that he couldn't breathe, but it was because he knew that what he did could not be forgotten, and not be forgiven. He couldn't say sorry, he just couldn't. Steve wouldn't forgive him one bit. Steve knew what he did. He knew that bucky did this to himself. When he went into Bucky's cell, he saw the glass that he cut himself with, due to all the blood all over it.

He couldn't stand thinking about it anymore, even though it's only been about five minutes. It was so heartbreaking. Bucky felt the bed dip in front of him. He lifted his head up and looked at Steve. The way Steve looked into his eyes, the way they glimmered with pain made him feel really terrible. He did this to Steve. It was his fault. This was his fault. It wasn't Steve's, it was his. His heart broke, shattering like the glass in his cell floor and he broke down.

There it was. He hasn't broke down since....he doesn't even remember. Its been so long. Tears ran down his face and he sobbed loudly. Steve leaned forward and held Buck so gently and the hug was filled with pure love. It was something bucky didn't remember having, but missed so dearly. His hands shook as he held Steve back with his metal arm. This feeling he felt was different, but didn't complain at all.

This feeling they both were feeling was different than when they were kids. It was like a longing feeling. A feeling that they have always craved. It was love and passion, but something else was there. Did they understand what it was? No, they didn't at all. Yes, they knew what loving someone was like of course. But did they understand what actual true true love felt like. No. Yes, they've both been in love, but never actually felt true love. This, this was true love, and they both knew it was deep down, but at the same time, they weren't actually sure if it was. Does that make sense?

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I'm here Buck" Steve says slowly and gently. He rubbed bucky's back as he felt him shake, feeling tears soaking his shoulder and Bucky held onto him like he was about to crumble into a million pieces if he were to let go. Bucky's world was crumbling each day, everyday. When he knew Steve was still out there something switched in his brain, and it was like no matter what he did, either he hit his head with his fist, punched himself, Fought, he just couldn't help himself.

Everything was falling apart piece by piece, but now, as he held Steve, he felt his walls building back up again. Bucky sobbed and cried, small sorry's slipping out of his mouth and Steve would soothe him by saying 'it wasn't your fault. It's okay. I forgive you' and it would make bucky feel slightly better. He was of course still messed up in the head. He still needed to remember things, to know how feelings work and how to control them.

He needed practice and Steve was going to help him down that road no matter what the consequences were. It was about five hours later when they landed. Bucky was fast asleep most of the whole ride back and Steve sat by his side, making sure his friend was still breathing. Before Bucky fell asleep, he made sure he patched him up and wrapped his arm. He cleaned it and after that bucky fell asleep. Bucky hasn't fallen asleep in so long, and now he did, because he was actually by his best friend.

He felt safe for once, and that made him go into a deep slumber. Steve took glances here and there at Buck, making sure he was breathing properly and made sure he wasn't losing too much blood. He wasn't actually, mostly due to the super soldier serum. If Buck didn't have that serum running through him, he wouldn't have survived. Bucky had his head leaning on Steve here and there. He shifted in his sleep a lot but Steve didn't mind.