Contest Entries

2. 7 Reasons Why

7 Reasons Why I'm Single:

•I'm a walking bottle of Off! People Repellent

•Guys don't like paying for the eighteen plates of food I order whenever we go out on dates

•I spend more time on Wattpad than with guys of interest

•I have Lonely Cat Lady written all over my unattractive face

•I don't like other human beings (they are unpredictable and best observed in their natural habitat)

•I have a bad memory, and tend to scream bloody murder when boys I'm dating appear for dates. I confuse them with ax murderers

•I refuse to share my food. Junk food, healthy food, liquid food, hands off. Guys that touch my food are sent out on the street with a broken jaw

So you see, I'm a very likable person :) but still single for some odd reason... Or seven reasons...

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