deja vu

take me back

Gem's pov
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March 25th, 9:05am weather: rain
Dear diary,
Today is my 15th birthday!
Mom woke me up super early today, but I don't even know what the hype is about.
Birthdays, it's just another year closer to the cold embrace of death.
Well, at least Mom gave me a new set of books and a couple of button up shirts.
If anyone finds this after I bury this next year, my name is Gemini Norawit Titicharoenrak, and I live with my Mom in Barcelona.
My Dad was out of the picture years ago, he left because the person he made a deal with ran off with all our money.
It seemed like that would be the end of us, but my mom and I are living our best life here, really. We run a small bistro down the coast of Barcelona, and we make a small but stable income.
My grandfather was an entrepreneur that succeeded and owned a hotel chain that spread across Thailand and he moved the family to Spain when the branch started spreading nation-wide.
When he passed, my father, being an only child, inherited the business and profit, but got scammed just a few years later, and was penniless.
A few months after my Dad left, Mom and I opened a little restaurant in our,favorite part of town, and we named it Talay, Thai for sea, since it is located on the seaside.
We have always had a stable amount of money, but sometimes we still struggle. Life before the scam was comfortable and easy, now it's basically the exact opposite.
I help Mom around the shop at the daytime, and at night I study. Even though we are happy, I still want to give her a life where she doesn't need to worry about money.
Since I don't go to school, I have basically no friends, except for this kid I've been online friends with since I was really young. I don't know his real identity, but he lives in Thailand, and he fills me in with the major events.
I've never been to Thailand, Barcelona has been my home since I was born, and before the scam my parents were always too busy to take me, and now we just can't afford it.
Even though I've never been to Thailand, I can still speak Thai fluently, Mom started teaching me as soon as I was born, she says to not lose touch with my roots.
Sometimes when the money is running low, I go around town and perform, earning a few coins. Mom says I have the singing voice of an angel, but I'm not so sure about that.
But, lately, I've noticed a lot of bills and notices arriving, and Mom working late. She says she doesn't mind, but sometimes I still see her stressing over bills and notices. I really hope I can help her, but there really isn't much I can do to help her. All I can do is help her prepare the ingredients that we need in the kitchen the next day.
My favorite thing to do every day is to walk down to the side of the beach and sit there watching the waves crash onto the beach, swirling out the fragments of shells and leaving patterns on the sand. Foam collecting around my feet and the salty tinge hanging around in the winds.
Sometimes when the sun is setting, I just sit on the beach for hours on end, watching as the seagulls returned to their children, etching shaped into the sand and tossing pebbles at rock pools.
Mother says I talk like a poet.
But when the fishing boats dock in the early mornings I rush down to buy the new hauls and, so fresh they still wiggle around.
Mom makes the best fish dishes in the neighborhood, it brings most of our customers, and I spend most of my time parading around taking people's orders, bring them their orders and accepting compliments on my 'beautiful form' and 'elegant features'.
I know at this age I'm supposed to be hanging out with my friends, going to parties, meeting girls...
Girls...
The thing about girls is...
I don't like girls.
I like boys.