The Story of Us

Broken promises

For shits and giggles, here's all the things he promised me that haven't/never happened:

-replacing the seatbelt buckle in my car

- getting the scratches on my car fixed after it got keyed

- getting me a spare tire

- eventually getting me rims

- replacing my spoon rest that chipped

- trip to Hawaii

-trip to Florida

- replacing my six flags tumbler that someone broke

- sanding and painting our end tables

- being "in love with me and loyal to me and only me"

- giving me kids; in October of 2022 he had told me I have "4-6 months left on birth control" before he was going to "plant his seed". I think I am glad that didn't happen. I can't imagine trying to coparent with him now.

- marrying me by the time we are 32

- his family doing our wedding flowers

- giving me his last name

- loving me forever

- birthday present in 2019

- birthday surprise 2023

-engagement ring

- covering my rent because "we're a team"...when he (or the roommate) stole one of my lamps and I asked for it back or the money I would've received from returning it, he stated he wanted the months of rent he paid for me back. That one hurt because in my head he was okay with the rent issue, constantly reassuring me that it was okay.  I never approved them stealing my lamp or even setting it up in the first place... I planned on returning it. I'm sure I already told this story but it still blows my mind.

It's so hard to look back on all the things he promised and the stories behind the promises. All the lies... I can't help but wonder what was going through his mind. All those nights we laid in bed, him playing this mind game with me of "I have your engagement ring, who has it, you'll never know". I am lucky to have friends that are honest with me. One of my best friends was talking to him about a year ago and I guess he had told her they would go together to pick out my ring. That never happened. I don't think I will ever understand why he was playing so many games with me. He made me believe he truly loved me and that he was the only one for me but then left me behind like I meant nothing. Didn't even try to save us. He constantly lied and made me believe he was really there for me, that he would take care of me.  I can't help but feel like a fool for believing all those promises, especially about the ring. I fully believed I would be getting a ring by the time our 5 year anniversary arrived.

The joke is on me. Now all I'll have is a broken heart and a trip to Florida without him.