ONLY ME || Haikyuu x Male

CHAPTER FOUR

Ren stood beside Coach Ukai, stiff as a board, facing the rest of the Karasuno boy's volleyball team who were seated in a semicircle around them. It felt odd, being spotlighted like this for something that wasn't shameful.

"I'm sure most of you know by now that I've admitted a new player onto our team. He's really a returning member from last year, and he's a second year, so to all you first years, please try to respect him. I'm looking at you, Kageyama."

The raven-haired boy flushed red in embarrassment, averting his gaze to look at his shoes. "Sorry."

"Anyway, this is Hasegawa Ren. Because he's an all-rounder, I haven't given him a designated position on the team. He will play whatever I see fit, and he will learn everything that you guys do. So watch your back, because he could overtake any of you in any game. He's a teammate, but he's also your competition, just as all of you are to one another."

Ren wanted to protest such a scary introduction. He really didn't want to have his fresh start ruined because his teammates all turned against him because he was there to replace them if need be. But instead of seeing dislike in the eyes of the crowd before him, as Ren swept his gaze over his new team, they were all looking at him with various expressions of admiration, if not support. He could barely keep his jaw from dropping at the sight. He hadn't seen this sort of care for quite some time, and it shocked him, the morale of the Karasuno crows.

"Go take a seat, Hasegawa. I have other things to talk about." Coach Ukai gave him a little nudge, and he stumbled forward, hurrying to sit down between Nishinoya and Hinata.

"We have a practice match against Nekoma tomorrow, as most of you know. This is an important game, as it's a rejuvenation of our old rivalry, so it's important that we all play our best. Now as for our starting positions..."

~~~

The sun had barely risen over the horizon when the volleyball bus pulled out of the Karasuno High School parking lot, heading towards Tokyo. Ren was sitting beside Kageyama, who'd been forced to sit beside him after Nishinoya took the seat beside Hinata. He had his duffel bag next to his feet, and his chin rested against his palm as he leaned against the wall of the bus. Most of the other players were still asleep, but he remained watchful, gazing out the window, intently watching the scenery pass by.

It was quiet, peaceful. Moments like this confused him. He wasn't quite sure if he liked them or not. On one hand, they felt like breaks from the fast-paced world around him, but on the other, they also felt fake, in a way. As if the peace was caused by another one of his hallucinations, and not simply just the natural world.

Beside him, Kageyama cleared his throat, and Ren glanced over, finding that the younger boy was staring at him. "Yes?"

"I just, uh, wanted to ask. Something. How did you receive that? The super quick that Hinata and I pulled on you? Your reaction time was so fast."

Ren blinked slowly. How was he really meant to answer that? He didn't know how his instincts had formed, they just did. But the first-year looked so earnest and so curious that he could feel his aloof heart melt a little at the sight.

"Well...I'm not entirely sure. I'd say the most likely reason I got so good at reacting quickly is because of the exercises I did for my psychosis."

As soon as those words slipped out of his mouth, Ren instantly regretted it. He hadn't really told the first-years the full extent of his condition, meaning that Kageyama hadn't been aware he'd even had psychosis before. He winced a little. How would his kouhai react?

"Exercises? Like what?"

The bluntness in Kageyama's voice startled Ren, and he gazed at the boy in wonder for a moment before catching himself, rushing to respond. "I-er. I used to spend time just observing things. A lot. Just the world around me, focusing on the little details. It'd help me figure out what was reality and what was a hallucination...in my head. I guess that over time, I just started to notice things without being aware of it. Like how I noticed Hinata move before you set the ball and the direction of his palm."

Ren chewed on his lip, anxiously awaiting Kageyama's response. He was a little concerned that his kouhai would view him as a creep. Telling people he was hyper-observant sometimes led to him being called a pervert. He wasn't quite sure how their thoughts managed to draw that conclusion, but it happened often enough that it'd become a standard worry for him to have.

"Woah...that's really cool, Hasegawa-senpai. I never thought about trying that as a volleyball exercise before."

Was this kid an idiot? Ren gawked at the raven haired boy, who was now staring at his hands in wonder, as if trying to note very little muscle that was moving in the limb. He hadn't been doing the exercises for volleyball, they'd been for his psychosis. Was this kid really so obsessed with the sport that he thought anything and everything related to it?

But that sort of innocent marvel at something that Ren had only ever viewed as a muzzle to restrain himself made him smile, and for the first time, without a thought, he reached over to grip Kageyama's hand with his own.

"Thank you, Kageyama. Maybe this won't make sense to you, but what you said means a lot to me." Ren's cheeks were starting to hurt from the wideness of his grin, and he could even feel his eyes glaze over with tears. Really, why was he getting so emotional? Maybe it was the ravenette's naivety that made his words so earnest, and perhaps that was why it was so touching, so heartwarming. The fact that he hadn't meant it to be.

Kageyama, of course, had no idea what the hell was going on inside his head. The first-year glanced down to their hands, and then back up to Ren's face, before his ears turned red and his eyes grew wide.

"Uh, you're welcome! I don't know why you're welcome, but you're welcome!"

Ren let out a breathy laugh, releasing Kageyama's hands and folding his own over his lap. He'd missed being on a team. Being all alone, it didn't even come close to this moment. Just him and a teammate, driving across the roads, sharing a moment of connection that could not be replicated.

~~~

The mid-morning sun hit Ren's face and he stretched his legs out, his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. One by one, his teammates were stumbling out of the bus, bleary and half asleep. They'd arrived at Nekoma High School, and their practice match started in a little over forty-five minutes.

Ren hurried along ahead of them. His team would catch up eventually, especially with Daichi leading them. He wouldn't go too far, not out of eyesight, but he wanted to get a better look at the building. It was certainly much more modern than Karasuno, which made sense, given the location.

He was so busy admiring the architecture that he didn't notice the person approaching him until there was a tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me. Are you with the Karasuno volleyball team?"

A tall, black haired boy stood in front of him, a wolf-ish grin on his face. Ren's eyes widened, and he took a step back, a little intimidated by the intensity of the stranger's gaze. All of a sudden, he was reminded of a hyena.

"Ah-yes...I am."

The boy extended his hand outward to shake Ren's, and he accepted the handshake, though a little tentatively. "I'm Kuroo Tetsuro, captain of the Nekoma High School boy's volleyball team."

"Hasegawa Ren. I'm a...backup player? I think?"

"Well, Hasegawa-san, with that pretty face, you'd never be a backup to me. Number one in my heart, always."

What the fuck?