ONLY ME || Haikyuu x Male

SPECIAL CHAPTER

+ One Year Ago +

Ren woke up to dead silence and the white walls of a hospital room.

His head was throbbing and it felt like he weighed ten times more than usual. It took him a few moments to notice, but there was something covering his right eye, so he couldn't see out of it at all. Turning this way and that to take in more of his surroundings, he noted an IV stuck into his arm, along with various cuts and bruises that were mostly bandaged up. His abdomen was particularly sore, but he couldn't seem to find the strength in himself to lift the blanket that was covering him. He couldn't find the strength in himself to lift a measly blanket.

How had he ended up here? The last thing he remembered was blacking out on his way down from the stairs in his apartment complex. He'd been getting ready to go to school and then it felt like something had knocked him on the back of the head, his vision had gone all blurry, and then he was waking up here.

"Ren! You're awake!" A bright voice caught his attention, and he turned to look at the entrance to his hospital room, catching sight of Nishinoya Yu at the doorway.

"Oh...hi Yu."

The boy scrambled over, hopping up onto the hospital bed to sit near Ren's legs. "How are you feeling? You took a pretty nasty tumble."

Ren sighed, letting his head rest back against the pillows. "Everything feels sort of sore. But do you mind telling me what happened? I don't really remember anything."

Nishinoya gave him a look of concern before replying. "Well, you had a hallucination and ended up falling down a flight of stairs. Your mother brought you here, and she's waiting outside for you right now. You didn't break any bones-miraculously-but you got some pretty bad bumps and bruises along the way. You also hit your head, but the doctors didn't find any sort of damage, so you're good there."

A groan slipped through his lips, and Ren pressed his palms against his eyes, pushing back a headache that was coming on. "God I'm such a mess, aren't I? At least the only person who got hurt this time was myself. Can you imagine how terrible it would be if I ended up sending someone else to the hospital?"

Nishinoya's fist met his shoulder, and Ren yelped in pain, dropping his hands from his face so that he could clutch the spot where he'd been hit. "Hey! What gives?"

"I don't want to hear you talking shit about yourself! You getting hurt is already terrible! Just as bad as anyone else ending up in the hospital."

Ren only hummed in reply, training his gaze on Noya. He didn't feel like arguing with his friend. That conversation would go on forever. But he still couldn't shake the shame lying in his stomach, coiled and poisonous like a cobra.

"Still. I wish that I could just have control. Then, maybe I wouldn't even be in the hospital." Ren turned away from Noya, feeling completely and utterly defeated. "I really wish that I could be normal like you."

Ren had been expecting his friend to argue, but what he didn't expect was for Nishinoya to grab both of his bandaged hands and clasp them together rather forcefully. "I know. I know it sucks and I know you hate it and I know that it hurts you. But this is you. In all your broken, beautiful glory. This is you. And I lo-like you for you. You're in the hospital because you're hurt. You suffered an accident. None of this is your fault, do you hear me?"

Noya's words only made his gut twist even more. It hadn't been his fault, and that was the problem. He couldn't even manage his own body. His brain controlled him like a puppet, forcing him into these sort of situations. It was awful. He didn't even have control over his own limbs. His own life.

"I-I know. But I just...I wish that I didn't have to be such a hazard. I wish that I couldn't...that I could stay in the real world. That I didn't have to lose myself in my head all the time." Ren could feel his eyes starting to water, and Noya's hand reached up to brush away the tears that were slipping out of his uncovered eye.

"Let's dye our hair, Ren."

"What?"

Noya was smiling, his eyes kind and soft. "Let's dye our hair matching colors. Let me be your tether to reality. I'll be there for you through thick and thin. And in case you start to drift away, our hair color will tie us together, and I'll pull you out of your own head. The color will remind you during your episodes that I am here for you, that you are okay. And maybe that will help end your hallucinations faster."

Ren stared at his friend. That probably wouldn't work. He was no medical expert, but he was pretty sure that psychosis didn't work like that. But still. The thought that Nishinoya was willing to do that for him made him smile and his tears evaporate. "Then it will have to be a generic color. That way, if I hallucinate, I'll be able to see it in my delusions too."

"Then let's make it yellow. Like the sun! Because the sun is warm like a big hug. And hugs make people feel safe. And above all, I want you to feel safe, Ren.

"Thank you, Noya."

Ren opened his arms, letting Nishinoya lay down, his friend's head nestled into the crook of his arm. And together they stayed there. Just the two of them. Just breathing. Just existing in the real world. Together.

A/N: Thank you all for 1,000+ reads! I really appreciate all the support I've received from you guys. I've been planning this chapter for a while, as a sort of explanation as to why Ren's hair is the color that it is. And celebrating this milestone seemed the perfect time to release it :) Thank you guys again. And please don't be a ghost reader! I'd love to hear what you all think of the story, so don't be afraid to comment <3