ʜᴇʀ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ ᴀᴅᴍɪʀᴇʀ +15

bloody tissues.

// mention of sh if you are uncomfortable with this chapter skip

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Once Luca left I sat alone in silence on the old squishy couch, I finished my cup of coffee, I turned on shameless I sat there staring at the TV, my mind wasn't focused on who fiona was cheating on, it was focused on her, and the way she tasted and sounded, her lips quivering after I made her cum on my tounge. I grinned thinking about it, I moved my hand down my body to the lining of my underwear.

Knock knock knock, i groaned at the interruption, the old front door sounded like he was gonna fall anyday now, I got myself up slowly making my way over to the door knock knock. Geez they are impatient I opened the door.

"Emmi?" My tone shocked I tilted my head as she walked into the house she gave me a gentle hug and I smiled hugging her back, she let go of the embrace and pretended to be interested in my antiques on the shelves, she broke her silence with "who's this girl grey has been telling me about?"

I couldn't help but giggle from her instant openly noisyness, I shrugged walking over to the couch her following right behind me, she sat in a matching armchair right next to the couch and tilted her head looking at me. "Speak mila" she ordered I shot her a dirty look .

"First of emmi you are not my mom, second she's a girl I met at a coffee shop, emmi she's perfect." I replied to her bosssy attitude and she laughed looking me up and down then shaking her head.

"Mila you fall to quickly" she placed her hand on my knee trying to get my attention I shook it off and looked at her, "so what she's amazing." I tried to argue her comments she shot back immediately with a response that made my stomach turn "Yeah somebody else's amazing."

I looked down at my thighs slowly rubbing my hands up and down my outer thighs, emmi sat with me telling me about her trips to the Bahamas with Tyler and Grey, she told me what she saw and did, but most of it went into one ear and out the other.

After about an hour of talking about her trips she got up, emmi told me she had to leave, she had some important errands to run around town, she sat up kisses the top of my head before messing up my hair and walking out the door.

I couldn't help but listen to her words on what felt like repeat. Am I really taking away someone's perfect? I had to asked myself this question, to understand what the situation is.

My body started to feel numb, my hands on my thighs started to feel like they were floating when I rubbed my thighs it left a tingly sensation but not in a good way, I tried to stand placing my two feet on the ground, but my hand felt dizzy I slowly walked up the stairs. Hearing each creak follow behind me.

I reached my bathroom and I opened the door, I closed the door sliding my back slowly down the door, until I hit the hard floor, I felt my whole body shaking. I looked down at the floor and then glanced at the drawer right above my head, I hesitantly opened the drawer.

I pulled out a small razor and started at it, I looked at the razor and gently pushed it into the skin on my thigh till I drew blood, I slid it slight before putting it back into the drawer quickly closing it shut, i felt my legs shake and tears form into my eyes. I felt disgusted with myself, and disappointed that I could relapse after month clean.

I felt tears run down my cheeks as I wiped it down with a peice of toilet paper, i then grabbed Vaseline and bandages gently rubbing the Vaseline on the small wound, I then wrapped the bandage tight around my thighs.

I stood up and walked out of the bathroom closing the door, I walked into my bedroom putting on a pair of grey sweatpants I tied the dtrong tight around my waist and I took off my shirt  replacing it with a white tank top.

Ding. I heard my phone ring, I quickly picked it up and saw her notification, I quickly looked over the message, it read "I'm sorry for leaving so early, I might swing by later be prepared ;)" I smiled from her message looking over the text.

"Okay :)" I replied and I closed my phone, I pulled the blankets up and getting into the bed wrapping the blanket around my body, I doze off looking at the closet that layed across from my bed, I bit my inner cheek feeling my body shaking, I turned my back on the closet grabbing a stuffed animal and pulling it close to my chest, I gently rubbed my thumb along the teddy.

I let my body relax into the pillow, my hands would then pull the blanket to my shoulder and my body would curl into a small ball pushing against my pillow.

"I'm so tired" my tone small, as I talked to myself, what emmi said made my body feel numb, I didn't want to make her unhappy or be taking away someone she could be happy with. I gently yawned feeling my eyes flutter shut before drifting off into a deep sleep.

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//might be a little choppy, if your dealing with difficult issues such as the one mentioned in this chapter, talk to a trusted adult or someone you trust, when and If your comfortable

Word count:970