Same but... different (Lestappen and Carlando)

Chapter 11

Trigger warning: panic attack

*********************************

POV : Max

I am not usually a very curious man, but when it's something Charles related, I suddenly become much more interested. And that's the reason why I decide to get up and creep into the living room, trying to spy on the conversation. I know I shouldn't but I heard Arthur's voice and I wonder if he's gonna talk about last night. After all, maybe he decided to tell his brother?

I open the bedroom, tentatively getting out and entering the living room. I feel like I'm quite discreet, hidden behind the back of Charles and out of his brother's sight. I try to listen, and suddenly realise that I am, in fact, dumb. Obviously they were gonna talk in French! And my few years of learning it in school unfortunately don't help much here, their accent just one of the things making it more difficult to understand. I decide to go back to the bedroom, when suddenly Charles moves and I freeze in anticipation. Maybe if I don't move Arthur won't see me?

But he does, and makes eye contact with me, so I feel obligated to talk, suddenly feeling a lot more vulnerable. What if he understands everything because of what I told him yesterday?

— Hello Arthur! I try to sound as innocent as possible, gulping as I see Charles stiffen and slowly turn to face me with an indecipherable expression.

— Euh... Hi Max? He finally enters the apartment and Charles closes the door, guessing that this is gonna take a bit longer than what he thought. May I ask what you two were doing in there? Wait no, I don't wanna know in fact! He adds quickly.

— No we weren't- I mean- Rhoooo... Charles tries to explain himself but only blushes more, and I understand that it's my turn to talk if I don't want this to go horribly wrong.

— Can I talk to you in private for a minute, Arthur?

— Uh sure, Charles?

— Yeah but Max hum... please, he gets closer to my ear and whispers, don't tell him for us, I don't want to come out that way... Please.

I know that his brother wouldn't judge him, mostly because he seems to feel the same, and didn't judge me the day before, but I agree anyway to not say anything. I guess that his brother already knows or suspects, but it's not my place to give away such an important information if he doesn't want me to.

— Yeah don't worry.

We then look at him go back to his room, looking a bit stressed. If I could, I'd just join him and comfort him, cuddling and kissing for a while. But I still have to speak with Arthur, who's apparently impatient to talk.

— Listen Max, I remember exactly what you told me yesterday and I have to ask, is my brother the one you like? He suddenly says, taking me by surprise.

— I- I'm hesitant, not knowing if he's gonna approve of whatever I say, and if I can trust him.

— If that's the case... You don't have to tell me of course but...

— Yes I love him, I suddenly blurt out, feeling my face burning as a reaction

A silence falls and I feel bad, immediately regretting it. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. What if he gets angry, or if he tells that to Charles, will that scare him away? Love is such a strong word... But I don't have any more time to think because a smile suddenly appears on his face.

— Oh okay. I mean that's good for you, he's a nice guy you know. But, does he know? And wait- is that why... Wait you thought I was Charles at the club, right? His voice gets louder and I can feel the shame dripping on me, slowly devouring me with remorse.