Wild and Out of Control

|chapter forty one|

|xaden|

"Danica!" I scream as the lightning bolt strikes the mountain just a few meters below her, causing an avalanche of snow and gravel to crumble to the mountaintop, taking Danica with it.

     Something pulls at my heart, constricting my chest until each breath I take is ragged, struggling to draw in air. The feeling is all I sense as I fly toward a falling mountain. Fear. Brutal and utter fear. I've never felt this way before, not even when my father was caught and executed in front of me. Then, I felt scared, yes, but more than that, I was angry at the injustice of it. I felt anger and grief at watching my father die while fighting an inevitable battle. But now, all I feel is devastating fear that I could lose Danica forever when I just got her. That she could be at the bottom of the mountain, lifeless, and it'd be all my fault. It was my job to protect her, to make sure she survives, and if she's dead because of me, I don't know if I could forgive myself. Oh gods, she's dead, she's—

     "Don't go there," Sqaeyl interjects, knowing where my mind is going. She flies faster, trying to catch up to Azare, who's frantically diving for the bottom.

     He's still alive, still flying, so there's a chance she's still alive. And that thought alone made me resolve to save her.

     "That girl is a survivor," Sgaeyl reminds me. "Try reaching for her. If she doesn't answer, don't spiral into thinking she's dead. She could be passed out, but she isn't dead. I know it. Azare knows it."

     "He can feel her connection?" I ask as I reach for the amber cord connecting me to her, but come up empty. I can't reach her. I can't—

     No, not going there. Not yet.

     She's alive—she has to be, otherwise I'll die alongside her. And as much as I can't live without her, I need to stay alive. Not for me, but for the others I damned with the deal I made. I made them a promise to help them, and so help me gods, I will.

     But I can't without her, not anymore. I've come to realize that one day, I'll have to tell her the truth about everything. And if that means she'll hate me, then I could live like that. If she spends the rest of her life hating me, then that's fine, as long as she's alive.

     When I felt her surprise and fear, it was then that I knew she had found where First Wing hid the egg, and they were fighting to protect it. When I felt her excitement and determination, it was then that I knew she had something planned that could put herself in danger. And when I didn't see her flying atop Azare...I knew she had put her life at risk to catch the egg.

     Sgaeyl stops abruptly, her wings flapping quickly to compensate for the sudden change in momentum. Her dive cut off so suddenly that I almost fell forward on my face. I'm about to ask her what the hell that was about when I see it. Two dragons flank on the east while another three close in on the south, and they're all heading in one direction: the fallen tower.

     Holding on to the last bit of my mind, I unleash my shadows so that they race out and create a barrier between the mountain and First Wings' dragons. It will stand as long as I'm standing, or if I decide to let it down. I distantly see Azare on the mountain, swinging his giant head around while his giant hand—Paw? Foot?—digs at the fallen pieces of the tower, rocks, and stones.

     Sgaeyl lands near him, and before she can settle, I jump off my seat and slide down her leg, my heart going a million miles per hour. "Xaden, wait—!"

     I didn't. I did what I always do when Danica is involved: head straight to action without thinking or planning or even knowing.

     First, her being kidnapped, and then this...