𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 ᵗᵐʳ ᵃᵘ

Chapter 4: Aerophobia

OUR flight got rescheduled. It was meant to be in two days, but the airline said there'll be a massive storm, so we're all flying out today. I sit in the taxi on the way there, listing everything I packed. Makeup, clothes, shoes, toiletries, chargers, books, sketchbook, drawing materials, wallet, passport, swimsuit, headphones, my phone, period products, hair removal for Minho, Blanket.

That's it, I think.

Soon, the taxi stops at the airport and I get out and take my bag out of the trunk. I pay the driver and make my way inside, trying to find the others. They were standing at our terminal.

"Sorry, I got a little stuck in traffic," I lied.

"So you were crying while stuck in traffic?" Hana asked.

"What?"

"I just assumed you were crying because your eyes are red and puffy."

"Oh..." Fuck I didn't realize that it showed. I should have looked in a goddamn mirror. "Allergies."

"In the middle of Winter?" Minho asked, seeming suspicious as to why I would have allergies in Winter.

...

"Yeah."

They didn't seem to buy my lie. I mean, they didn't need to know I was balling my eyes out because I realised that I was going to be separated from my friends for years and only being able to see them on holidays, or how I'm not able to celebrate graduating high school with my mom, or how my ex murdered- never mind.

"Well, we should probably get going then," Hana said before starting to walk towards where we needed to go. Minho narrowed his eyes at me before following the others.

The security checkpoint took forever. Someone from another group lost their passport and made us wait an extra 10 minutes. Then, another person's bag weighed too much and they had to move it to a smaller bag. Teresa's phone died.

When we finally made it out we only had 20 minutes left until our flight took off. We hurriedly found the way to our boarding gate, and luckily, people only just started boarding.

We showed our tickets to the attendant sitting at the desk and went through. I went to find my seat.

Seat: D1

I found my seat which was luckily a window seat. No one was in the aisle seat or the middle seat. Maybe I'll be alone on the flight.

"No," Minho said with annoyance, staring at me in my seat.

"What is it, Minho?" I asked.

"I'm not sitting next to you."

"There's not enough space for your ego here, sorry," I said.

"Whatever," He grumbled sitting in the aisle seat. At least there's a seat between us so we don't have to sit directly next to each other.

"I'm gonna make sure to make this flight long for you," I told him.

"Not before I do," He snapped.

"Take a chill pill, buddy," I said and he groaned.

"God, you're insufferable," He groaned.

"Thanks." Not soon after, the pilots and attendants went through the safety of the plane and then the plane finally took off.

12 hours of fucking Minho.

Wait- no that's not what I meant. We aren't fucking, just 12 fucking hours of being forced to sit next to him. Not sex.

My legs started bouncing up and down. I may have kept a little detail that I'm terrified of flying but I didn't want to stop the others from wanting to go to Paris so I just kept it hidden. I don't really find a point in telling people about my fears or concerns. They probably won't even listen anyway. I fidgeted with one of the many bracelets on my wrists. 

"Bouncing up and down won't change that you're gonna be flying, Lemonhead," Minho said.

"I'm aware," I said.

"Wow, I'm shocked that you didn't insult my 'big' ego," He said.

"At least you're aware of your big ego," I said in a surprisingly calm tone. I don't have the energy to argue with Minho right now. There's too much to worry about.

Like, will the storm hit us? Will the plane crash? Will we get stuck by lightning? Will Minho talk the whole time? Will I die? Will the last person I see be Minho?

I hope not.

I don't want to see his face right before I die.

The plane finally started taking off and my stomach dropped the second we went in the air. God, high up, high up. I can't.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe.

"You look like you're about to be sick," Minho said, surprisingly not in a snarky tone.

"I'm fine."

"No seriously, you don't look okay," He said calmly.

"I'm fine."

"That's a lie."

"I'm fine."

"Stop saying you're fine when you're clearly not," He said frustratingly. "You look like you're about to puke."

"Maybe I am," I spat.

"You're afraid of flying, aren't you?" He had a big fucking smirk on his face. God, I wanna punch it off.

"What if I am?"

"Why didn't you tell them."

"Because it doesn't matter."

"Anika-"

"Minho, just leave it," I snapped. Oops. He was trying to help me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "Sorry," I quickly said. "I didn't mean-"

"It's alright." He interrupted. Shit, I messed up.

"Minho-"

"I said it's fine, Anika."

Uh oh.

I fucked up big time.

Fuck.

I may not necessarily like Minho but that was an accident. I put my headphones on and leaned my head against the window. rethinking everything in my life. Thinking about what-ifs.

What if I never met Hana? What if Minho never hated me? What if I never moved to the U.S.? What if my mom never died? What if my dad never disappeared? What if I had still been with my ex?

Thoughts race through my head as I try to breathe and not cry. What the fuck is going on with me? I haven't been this on edge for a long time. What changed? Why am I suddenly like this again? I have no reason to be like this. My life is perfect. I have the perfect friends and the perfect university I'm going to. My life is perfect so why am I like this? I shouldn't be feeling like this.

God, I hope I don't turn back into the person I was before. Depressed and alone. Easy to be manipulated and vulnerable. God, I was so happy that version of me was finally gone but now I'm scared that she's returning again.

You need sleep.

That's what I need. I'm just tired. I searched my backpack for my melatonin. I check every fucking pocket for it.

Shit.

It's not here. Where is it? I swear I packed it. Did I leave it at home? Maybe it's in my other bag. I hope I didn't just forget it.