My crazy Middle School life

Grade 5 (Optional):

Ford was a caucasian boy in my class who would always talk about 'America' with Cheetos and Lunchables.

"How do you KOREANS eat this crap?" He asked me one day as I was placing kimchi on top of my miyuk-ggook (seaweed broth) and rice.

"It's not crap." I responded quietly, putting my spoon with the food still on it down carefully.

He started laughing. "In America, we have CHEETOS, not that crap. We also have REAL FOOD."

"Oh, I didn't realize your definition of real food was heavily processed bits of flour coated with tanning spray powder."

Ford continued to laugh. "At least I don't have to eat this crap for breakfast. It looks like something that might come out in Fear Factor." Now, a crowd of people had gathered and Mr. Bailey had sneaked upon us to watch. "Oooh!" said everyone as Ford snickered triumphantly.

"Ford, I ate that $h!t for breakfast." I said. Ford pretended not to hear and continued to laugh.

"Let's see who's laughing after twenty years, Ford. All those processed foods will add up and block your artery, giving you a heart attack-never mind, you won't be alive by then." I said, looking at his wobbly stomach. I lifted my spoon and shoved it in my mouth triumphantly.

"BUUUuuuRn!" Mr. Bailey screamed. Ah-young glared at him. "Excuse me, you are literally a teacher. I thought teachers were supposed to stop fires, not add oil to it."

"Extra virgin olive oil, please." I said with a wink.

Ford was basically my enemy for the first half of the year. He would always try to get me in trouble and failed miserably, as most of the kids in this school would be very stupid. Ford did not know how to lead even a simple conversation.

"Scarlett, you are stupid because your name starts with an 'S'."

"F you, Ford." I replied calmly, putting emphasis on the 'F'.

"At least I'm not stupid." Ford suddenly yelled. But a millisecond later, he yelled, "At least I'm not dumb. At least I have friends. At least I'm cool." This ordeal confused me as I was shocked to find out that I breathed in the same air as this idiot. "You need to wait for me to reply." I said, irritated.

"Says who?!"

"Says the simple rule of conversations for dummies." I told him.

The others were no different.

"Scarlett, at least I'm handsome." said Jayden one day. Gosh, he was so full of himself!

"At least I don't copy off Wikipedia." I told him. In Korean Studies, I had caught him copying and pasting an entire essay on Wikipedia on politics. He had gotten a 100, and I got a 99 percent, due to spelling mistakes, tailing him close in second.

"It's called being smart and saving time." He said. "Use your brain if you have one."

"I do have a brain, but I also have something called conscience."

"At least I'm not adopted." He spat.

"At least they wanted me."

I was unaware of the entire class watching in awe until then.

"Ohhhh!! BURRRRN!" Screamed Ian, Jayden's right-hand man. Jayden looked at Ian with a 'Et tu, Brute?! ' Kind of look. Ian shrugged at him. I decided I had had enough of Wily doing Jayden's homework and him cheating. I was going to report him. I grabbed his iPad to hand in to the teacher when he grabbed my arm and twisted it. It made a weird 'POP' noise and I ran to Ms. Jung and told her what happened. Jayden still got a 70 percent, but the incident earned him a trip to the principal. His parents didn't even bother to apologize (rude). Crap, I have a swim meet tomorrow!