𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍² , 𝗧𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗣.

love fool, 3

author's note: i seriously need to start putting effort into this book and not just write dialogues.

-

"okay, let's talk about something else." i sighed, after a while.

"i just kinda feel whatever shit you've got going on. you come here and just forget about it," he said

he was right. after coming to cousins it felt as if everything going back home just didn't exist. my quietness, my bad grades, my mom's disappointment, my stupidness none of that happened nor does it matter to me right now.

"come on, man. no one is playing truth or dare!" steven said. "it's either you go big or go home!"

"agreed, this needs to get way more euphoria." taylor said.

"okay, um, i'll give it a whirl." skye said, covering her eyes before moving her hand around.

"rosalyn!" she stops at me. oh great.

"i dare you to, uh, kiss conrad." she said, rolling her eyes, playfully.

"uh." i just said.

everyone seemingly went quiet and cameron and skye seemed confused. i glance at conrad who stares at me. why is this so fucking awkward, i actually can not.

"we're too old for this stuff." he said as i looked away. 

i had mixed feelings about it. did i or did i not want to kiss him? because i knew if i kissed it everything would change and the awkwardness might come back but i also know that it saddens me not to kiss up.

just shut up, rose.

"yes, cam you know the drill?" taylor asked.

"yes, truth." he said.

"what's your biggest regret?" she asked and he chuckled, nervously.

"i'd probably say not spending enough time with my sister before she died." cameron said.

"i'm sorry, i didn't know that." taylor said.

"no, it's okay." he said.

"you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." belly said.

"it's okay. it was ten years ago. she was 16, um, i was just a kid. i really looked up at her. i still look up to her." he said.

"does it get any easier?" jeremiah asked.

"yeah." cameron said, after a while.

"i'm sorry, man." conrad said.

"no, i'm sorry about your mom. she was really cool." cameron said. taylor then yawned loudly and we all laughed. everyone started getting sleepy and we decided to just sleep there. we all shared a blanket. taylor with steven, jeremiah with belly, sky and cameron had their own and then it was one blanket left so conrad and i had to share.

i lay next to him both of us staring at the sky. my muscles were stiff and tight as i tried not to move or else we would touch. everyone seemed to fall asleep.

there was just this sudden urge inside of me to ask him. ask him why he didn't kiss me. and i should've just tamed that urge.

"conrad?" i asked, my voice quiet. 

"hm?" he hummed.

"why didn't you kiss me?" i asked.

which was dumb because obviously we were exes and ended on extremely awful terms since i told him to go to hell at his mom's funeral but i still asked.

he was quiet for a while, the only sound was of our breathing and the crickets.

"i don't know if i'll be able to control myself if i do," he said and i looked at him when he said that slightly shocked and slightly relieved. he turned to look at me.

i know after saying that him and i are better as friends, i shouldn't have kissed him. but i couldn't help it.

he leans in, attaching his lips to mine. i kiss him back, immediately, gripping his nape to pull him even closer. we pull away after a moment, softly breathing against each other before kissing again. it felt different this time. i don't know how to explain it. 

he got on top of me, his whole support on his elbow next to my head and his other hand on my waist. his hand goes under my shirt as we kiss desperately yet quietly not wanting to wake others up.

"be quiet for me, 'kay?" he said and i nodded as his hand dipped beneath my skirt.

-

i groaned, softly as the sun hit me directly on my face. i rubbed my eyes before sitting up, conrad's arm over my lap.

"for a second i forgot we were homeless," i said, yawning.

"get off of me." taylor said, hurriedly as she pushed steven's arm off her waist, making me and jeremiah chuckle.

"ow." steven said.

"what's going on out here?" we heard a woman's voice and cameron quickly sat up.

"mom, hi, I'm so sorry, uh they.." cameron said quickly sitting up and running to his mom. "they needed a place to stay because they lost their house."

"cam." the woman said.

"I'll clean up everything, i swear." cameron said.

"no, we-we all will clean up." belly said, waking up from her sleep. her appearance made me chuckle.

"good. and don't forget to return the cart." she said and left.

"why does everyone have dirt on their faces?" i asked, noticing dirt on conrad's face and then on steven's face.

"you do too," jeremiah said.

"what?!" i quickly said and brushed my face. we first cleaned up, returned the cart and then walked to the car, tired and hungry.

"i'm so sore. it feels as if i was sleeping on rocks," i said as i settled in the car.

we drove to the beach house and saw julia with the real estate woman.

"oh, look who it is," jeremiah said.

"hi."

"it's okay. i'll handle it." julia said.

"oh, i wish you boys had gone home when i asked you to." julia said after the woman left.

"you're not getting us to abandon our house, julia." conrad said.

"it's not your house, conrad. and, um.. it won't be mine for long, either." julia said.

"julia, please. we have an idea." jeremiah said.

"a buyer has made an offer on the house and i have officially accepted it. i have to go to Boston to finalize the details, but, um, it's done." julia said. "the house is sold."

and just like that i, rosabelle conklin, once again felt her heart shatter at the words.