✨My Life Stories✨

First Heartbreak

"You know you're becoming really obvious, don't you? He knows you have a crush on him" My bestfriend teased as I looked behind my shoulder towards the boy. More specifically, MY CRUSH.

When he came to our school for the first time, I was the first girl he got acquainted with. But I did not develop any feelings for him back then. As we had come back from lockdown, we were forced to wear masks.

We never really spoke after the first time, since I did not feel I had the need to. But after our holidays, I had developed feelings for him. Was it because of his face or my hormones, I still have no clue.

According to my friends, I would apparently blush profusely whenever I was near him. This caused my friends to tease me whenever I went close to him.

"I hope he likes me too" I whispered in my bestfriend's ear, to which she giggled and replied "Of course he would! You are pretty, you are smart, you are multi-talented..." "Alright alright fine...but that's not the only reason to like me back..." I trailed off as I started to concentrate on the book laid in front of me. We had our annual day in one month and practice already started. Not just that, our board exams were about to start in three months, for which I had to concentrate as well.

Soon after, I heard some guys laughing behind me. "That nerd is having a crush on you. THAT NERD? pah... She has too much hope. Why don't you tell her you're not interested?" I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

"I don't want to hurt her unnecessarily. Even though we haven't been the best of friends, I have to maintain our friendship by not talking to her."

I felt anger replacing my sadness. Not because of my crush, but because of his friend, who used to be a great friend of mine since younger grades until puberty hit him and he thought he was too cool to talk with me. I broke the pencil I had in my hand and continued to stare at the broken pencil, feeling betrayed. Broken. Hurt.

And everything hit me like a ton of bricks. Me being a nerd was an embarrassment to my friends. "What's wrong? Are you alright?" My bestfriend asked me. "Is it because I told you he knows you have a crush on him?" I didn't want to worry my bestfriend unnecessarily, so I nodded my head as a yes. She then started to take a lesson on how that shouldn't affect whether I had a crush on him or not as I trailed off, not picking up her latter words .

Later, when I came back home, I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a lot fatter than I used to be, my curves no longer visible. My glasses were thick and made me look ugly. Pimples covered my face.I hated how I was. I thought of every reason people might not like me, and a huge list of things came to my mind.

I felt my cheeks getting wet with my tears as I started to sob. Sobs turned to a breakdown. I was not good enough. And then I understood why people talked to me. It was only for their own needs. I felt a pang of hurt in my heart without realising something, I started to hate myself.
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Hellooo❤️❤️

So this took place a year ago, before I became an ARMY.

To anyone reading this, know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

I lost 7kgs after my board exams and both my ex crush and his friend (my ex friend) changed schools.

I am happy to announce that I don't hate myself anymore and I surrounded myself with ARMY friends so I'm extremely happy rn 😁💜

Anyways, LOVE YAA💜💜
Baked Pie__