Hiding

Chapter twenty-seven

#violence #death #gayslur

"Shit, I'm so sorry Magnus. Time ran away from me... I forgot our date..."

"Alex," Magnus tries to interrupt Alec, but he is not listening at all.

"I'm such an asshole. I promised you... I promised we would still be together and then I stand you up on our very first date back..."

"Alec, stop." With both hands firmly gripping Alec's shoulder, Magnus finally gets his attention. "It's fine. Everything is okay. I heard your argument with your father, so I already expected that you would forget." Magnus lifts up the takeout bag in his hand that Alec only now notices. "I brought us food. And wine." He shows Alec the other hand where he is carrying an expensive looking bottle of red wine.

"You are amazing." Alex kisses Magnus cheeks and takes the food. "This is so much more than I deserve."

"Not at all, darling. After today, you truly deserve to be pampered." Alec tenses up and at Magnus' words.

"How much of that conversation did you hear?"

"I heard him call you terrible things... and I heard him tell you to get a wife..."

Alec nods, "yep... that about sums it up..." he pulls Magnus into a desperate and loving hug, "God, what would I do without you...?"

"Marry a woman, I reckon." Magnus' voice is muffled against Alec's shoulder.

"Yeah, probably... fuck... I'm so glad you are here... Wait!" Alec suddenly grabs Magnus and holds him out in an arm's length of his body, "is my father still here?"

"No, I made sure he left before getting food."

"Oh, thank God. He can never know, Magnus. Never!"

"I know, I know. He will fire you."

"No... much worse, Magnus. Trust me. He can never know about you."

"I think he already knows I'm bisexual, Alec."

"You do?" Alec looks at Magnus in a mix of confusion and horror. "How? Never mind. That doesn't matter as much. he just can't know about you and me."

"Your mom knows. And she hired me. I'm just guessing he knows too, then. And about you and me; he won't find out."

"Promise?" Alec pulls Magnus back into his embrace and magnus wraps his arms around him, hugging him back just as much.

"I promise. How could he?"

"Raphael found out." Alec can't hide the fear in his voice. He doesn't care Raphael know. Not much anyway. But if he found out, wont his father be able to too?

"That doesn't count.

"Of course, it counts." Alec shakes his head, "never mind... Just... be careful, okay?"

"What is it that is making you this scared, suddenly? Did he threaten my job? Because I don't ca..."

"No." Alec interrupts. He has been debating with himself all day if he should tell Magnus or not, but he believes that Magnus deserves the truth. Even if that means risking Magnus leaving him. "Not your job... Your life."

"Don't be ridicules." Magnus laughs, thinking Alec is joking, but Alec's eyes don't show anything but terror. "You are kidding, right?"

"No..." Alec guides Magnus to the small couch and takes the seat next to him. "Unfortunately, I'm not. Listen, this is something you can never repeat. Promise me?"

"Alexander, you are scaring me."

"Promise me, Magnus."

"Fine, I promise."

"Good." Alec takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He has never talked to anybody about this before. Not even his siblings. They all promised to never talk about it again. "I was young. A teenager. Barely even figured out my own sexuality. But my dad had. One day he was drinking with his buddies. Talking about going out hunting. At first, we thought they talked about dear hunting. They did that a lot when we were at the cabin, but then they said something about fairies..."

"Oh god." Magnus mutters.

"We didn't really understand what they meant with fairies... not until my dad woke all three of us up in the middle of the night and made us come with him to the truck. We got in and drove for a long time. I don't know how long, but it felt like hours. When we stopped, we were in a desert. He gave us shovels and told us to dig a hole. A big hole." Magnus is staring at Alec with tear-soaked eyes and a trembling hand covering his mouth. "Once he thought the hole was big enough, he dragged out this big bloody sack. He opened it up and showed us the body of a man beaten into a bloody pulp. Then he tossed it into the hole and told us that this was what would happen to any of us, should we ever take up homosexual tendencies. And I remember him looking directly at me as he said it." Alec swallows a couple of times. "The man is insane... And I've always known I have to follow every one of his orders, otherwise I will end up in a hole in the desert. All my life I've been terrified of him. So terrified that I've never even dared to say anything... or be true to who I am... until you came back in my life. I just couldn't resist anymore... I don't want to resist anymore."

"Fuck..." Magnus clutches Alec's hand. "that's... oh my god..."

"I know... So, you have to be very careful, okay? At least until I figure out a way for us to be free... And I totally get it, if you want to stop this. I mean I should have warned you a long time ago, but..."

"I don't want to stop it. We'll be careful. As you said... but Alec... he knows about you... are you in danger?" fear is drenching Magnus voice and Alec shakes his head.

"No, I don't think so. He only knows that I've been curious on the trip and liked finding a LGBTQ friendly company. He doesn't know I've given in to my desires. Otherwise, he would have dragged me to the desert by now."

"Don't say that. That's fucking terrifying."

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay... but isn't there some way we can get him prosecuted... He did murder someone."

"I have no proof. And we were kids, so no one will trust our testimony. Besides it has to be foolproof, so he doesn't get off on some technicality. He will kill us for turning him in."

"this is so insane... does your mother know?"

"no. no one knows. Sometimes I'm not even sure my siblings remember. And even worse, sometimes I can almost convince myself it didn't happen and that it was a dream."