Insecurities

Chapter 8

When they arrive at the station Elliot parks the sedan and they exchange a look. They're both still flustered and more than a little worked up.

"I should probably wait a few minutes." Elliot says looking down at the problem in his pants that she hasn't been able to stop looking at.

"Okay." She says softly, trying to get her own emotions under control.

Several minutes pass and it hasn't even begun to subside.

"Do you think it's gonna go away?" She asks and he chuckles nervously.

"It didn't the other day." He admits and doesn't even realize what he had said until he had said it.

"The other da-" "Yeah it's nothing. Maybe you should head inside." He cuts her off and urges her to leave. 

He doesn't want to talk about the fact that he jerked off to her picture, at work, because he couldn't get his erection to go away.

"No wait. You said I can't push you away anymore.." she says, eyes fixating on his. "Well you can't push me away either."

"That was different Liv." Elliot claims.

"No it wasn't. It's only "different" because you want it to be." She confronts and he sighs.

"I'm not having this conversation Liv."

She's irritated now.

"Whatever. Screw you." She reaches for the handle of the door and his firm hand on her wrist stops her.

Christ why is she stubborn.

"The other day..." He starts and swallows hard. He can't believe he's getting ready to tell her that he had dreamed of her and that it had single handedly ended his marriage, even if he was ready for a divorce before that.

"You remember when Kathy came to the office the other day?" He asks and her expression drops, noticeably confused.

"Yeah." She says curiously.

"The night before I had a dream. I didn't remember it until Kathy came to talk to me." He says and her body is craned towards his slightly in anticipation and she can't help but notice he hasn't moved his hand from her arm.

"The dream was about you.." he says and removes his hand from her arm.

"About me?" She asks and when he shifts in the seat suddenly feeling anxious his jeans rub his erection.

He clears his throat in place of the grunt that tries to escape his lips.

"It was a very... graphic dream." He says eyes on the floor of the car for several moments before flickering up at her.

"It wasn't a PG13 dream." He admits and nervously picks at the lint of his jeans.

"Rated R?" She asks nervously, clearing her throat.

He shakes his head and clears his throat. "Not exactly."

" X rating?" Her voice dips an octave lower and he can hear the arousal in her voice due to the subject matter, as well as the anxiety lurking there.

He tilts his head slightly, a small nervous smile on his lips. "...more like..x..x..x rating." He pauses between each letter, feeling a little dirty to be admitting this to her.

A small quieted "Oh." Escapes her lips. Her legs are pressed together so firmly the bones of her knees are beginning to feel like they might bruise under the pressure.

"Kathy heard me moaning...in my sleep..saying your name."  

"Maybe I should go." Her voice is raspy and uneasy and her cheeks are red.