My Ex - Crush

Episode 1

Deepika's POV :

"I want to die!" The words tumbled out of my mouth, strangled by the sobs that wrecked my body. My chest heaved, and the tears wouldn’t stop. I pressed my palms to my face, trying to smother the sound of my crying, but it was useless. I was falling apart.

Meera sat beside me, her hand resting gently on my back. She murmured something, trying to soothe me, but her words felt distant—like they were coming from another world, a world that didn’t belong to me anymore.

Everything felt like too much. Too heavy. Too suffocating. I couldn’t breathe properly. I couldn’t think. The walls were closing in, and I was so tired. Exhausted, really. Of everything.

It had only been a week into college life, and I was already shattered. What was the point of all this? I had wanted this degree so badly.

B. Arch.

I worked day and night, putting everything I had into passing the NATA entrance. When I got my state rank, I thought it was my golden ticket to my dream college in Chennai. That was supposed to be my moment—my life starting exactly how I wanted it to.

But none of it mattered. Because when it came down to it, my parents didn’t care. They didn’t listen. Instead, they caved to the stupidest advice from our relatives.

Chennai’s culture is spoilt. She’ll lose her character if she goes there.

The hostel food will make her sick. She’s too weak to handle it.

All of that nonsense, and just like that, they decided I wasn’t going. They crushed my dream in one conversation. I had to join a college near home, not even close to the level of the one I deserved. No matter how good this college was, it wasn’t mine. It wasn’t what I fought for.

I was stuck, commuting 1.5 hours each way, changing buses twice, walking 2 kilometers under the unforgiving sun to reach the campus. The entire process drained me of every ounce of energy I had. Every day, I came home too exhausted to even think about my assignments, let alone complete them.

Three hours a day were wasted just in transit. And walking nearly 7 kilometers every day on top of that? I was losing it. My body ached, my mind screamed, and no one seemed to care.

As if the physical exhaustion wasn’t enough, the course itself was destroying me. Every day I had to carry scales, sheets, models—so much crap. And almost every day, I had no seat on the bus. I stood, balancing all this stuff, being jostled by the crowd. My arms and legs felt like they would give out at any moment.

I had always been the girl who raced ahead of everyone else. I had always been the top scorer, the one everyone looked up to. But now? Now I couldn’t even keep up. I was falling behind, and it hurt.

The other students didn’t have to deal with any of this. The girls who stayed in the hostel had it easy. They could wake up and reach class within 10 minutes, no hassle. Some of the others had cars. They’d just roll into the college in minutes, not a care in the world. There were even college buses for the ones who lived in town, but not for anyone like me.

Everyone else seemed to be enjoying their time, despite the endless assignments and the professor’s constant demands for redos. But for me, it was hell. It felt like I was the only one suffering, the only one carrying this unbearable weight.

I tried to talk to my parents, begged them to let me stay in the hostel, even if it wasn’t in Chennai. But they refused. They said if I couldn’t live under their conditions, then I wouldn’t go to college at all. That was their ultimatum. It felt like a punch to the gut.

I didn’t want to be alive anymore. What was the point of it? My dreams were dead. I was dead inside. I wanted to kill myself, to end all this pain and frustration.