Vivi

IX

"Ugh," said Vivi, falling back onto her big bed.

This will take time. It has to take time. Don't get riled up into being in a hurry.

What am I feeling?

It took Vivi a moment to get past her swirling cloud of thoughts to discover her actual feelings.

Angry. Hurt.

Why?

No, let's slow down, came a gentler voice that seemed to emanate from Vivi's chest. Vivi, you're feeling angry and hurt. Is that right?

Yeah.

What the hell am I thinking, thinking that I can ever get through to him? came an anxious part of Vivi.

Seems impossible, Vivi reflected to herself calmly. Really huge task right now and you don't even know if you can do it.

"You won, okay?" came the memory of Shockwave's voice. "You bested me. You're the most powerful super in the world."

"The most powerful super in the world," it repeated.

"Agh!" yelled Vivi, burying her face in the pillow.

Angry. Hurt.

Enraged.

Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy.

Vivi tried to breathe through it.

Fuck this guy, she repeated back to herself, in the tones of someone showing understanding for pain. It really hurts, huh?

I just... I wish he would understand. I don't want to be better than him! I don't want power for its own sake.

Or do I? Am I fooling myself?

Vivi focused on her breathing again. She felt the light of her presence, emanating from her chest.

Sure, there's a part of me that likes the power and attention, I guess. And there's also a part of me that wants to be known for the fact that this is not why I do any of the things I do.

I just want to be understood.

The pain in Vivi's chest started to ease.

*

Vivi spent an hour reading a novel and forgetting all her troubles, until hunger brought her back down to Earth. (Figuratively speaking. In a more literal sense, it brought her back to an awareness that she was in a palace floating in space).

Vivi got up and stretched a little. Then she opened the door and stepped out of her room.

Vivi knew the layout of her palace, more or less, but it still held surprises for her. Perhaps she had forgotten some of the process of making it, as if she'd been in a dream as she'd done so. Or, perhaps, her subconscious mind had done most of the work, and she'd never been completely conscious of it.

So, as Vivi walked towards the kitchen, it occurred to her that she didn't know how she'd chosen to solve the problem of food.

Vivi knew she didn't really want to cook. And she didn't want to count on always feeling creatively inspired when she wanted food either. At the moment, she felt so uninspired she'd probably get a migraine if she tried to materialise a cupcake.

The kitchen, as it turned out, had a nice marble countertop, well stocked with bowls of vegetables, fruit, and nuts; there were shelves along the walls with jars of flour, rice, beans... a wood fire drew the eye as the centrepiece. A bubbling cauldron of water hung over it.

And there –

"Good evening, miss Vivianne," said an angel.

Well. It looked like an angel. But then Vivi realised its facial features were a little stiff, and the wings seemed to be made of plastic – a robot.

Vivi was a little disappointed. She realised she was hoping to see that angel she had met in the place beyond death again. This robot was a good likeness of that being, though.

"Hi," said Vivi. "Um... do you have a name?"

"Chamuel, at your service." The voice had a robotic cadence but was also soothing and gentle. "I took the liberty of making some spaghetti alla carbonara. If you'd like something else, just tell me and I can get to work."

"No, that's good," said Vivi.

"Tea?" asked Chamuel, taking the water off the fire.

"Yes please," said Vivi. She suddenly felt guilty about Shockwave. "Can you make two and help me bring the food over to the cell?"

"Of course," said Chamuel.