"It says your name here is "Loco"?
"Yep!"
"Why did you sign up as this?"
"Because I'm crazy like that!"
"Aigoo... When you audition, you're supposed to sign using your real name. Loco just doesn't make sense." The staff scolded him. He proceeded to touch the boy's face.
"Am I tested for alcohol? I swear I only drink two bottles!"
"I'm only looking at your face though for an advice I would take it easy on alcohol. It may take a bad look bad on your resume." The staff kept staring at him.
"What are you starting at?"
"Your face looks rather odd... I can't make heads or tails... It's somewhat charming, but at the same time not the most appealing. In truth you don't really fit any conventional beauty standard."
"Since when did my face become a measuring tool?"
"We have a certain standard we must follow in the entertainment industry. In order to be an idol you need to look exceptional handsome. With the way your face looks it may scare off would be fans. Those cheeks are abnormally large. What is your diet?"
"Mwo? What that does that have to do anything?"
"As an idol you must be a certain weight. Your chubby face may be a result of your weight."
"Yah I'm not fat!! I work out! I just benched today!"
"Then you need to lose more weight. I suggest following a diet."
"The fuck I gotta diet for!? Am I running the Olympic? Is this a runaway fashion show!?"
"Your attitude needs more to be desired too. May I suggest toning it down?"
"Enough of this shit! Your rules keeps going on and on. Is this the constitution? Just get to the point!" Loco shouts in anger.
"Fine, just step forward and do whatever you need to do to audition." The staff orders Loco to step forward.
"Finally! Don't get mad on what I'm about to rap about?"
"Whatever just hurry and audition! There's other people waiting." The staff shrugged.
"Very well prepared to be stunned by upcoming Crazy boy Korea will know of!" Loco boasted before he began rapping.
It was unusual, but almost immediately he began to rap with an unusual flow. It was vulgar yet clever. Loco has hyped himself as an unusual rapper. A rapper not to be underestimated. The staff was left impressed by his consistency. Not once did he stutter. It was what Loco said, he was the crazy boy for a reason.
Bangladesh
Young Money!
You dig? Yeah
Mack, I'm goin' in
A millionaire, I'm a Young Money millionaire
Tougher than Nigerian hair
My criteria compared to your career just isn't fair
I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed
Through the pencil, and leak on the sheet of the tablet in my mind
'Cause I don't write shit, 'cause I ain't got time
'Cause my seconds, minutes, hours go to the almighty dollar
And the almighty power of that ch-cha-cha-chopper
Sister, brother, son, daughter, father, mother-fuck a copper
Got the Maserati dancin' on the bridge, pussy poppin'
Tell the coppers, "Ha-ha-ha-ha"
You can't catch 'em, you can't stop 'em
I go by them goon rules, if you can't beat 'em then you pop 'em
You can't man 'em then you mop 'em
You can't stand 'em then you drop 'em
You pop 'em 'cause we pop 'em like Orville Redenbacher (ooh)
Muthafucka', I'm ill, yeah
A million here, a million there
Sicilian bitch with long hair, with coke in her derriere
Like smoke in the thinnest air, I open the Lamborghini
Hopin' them crackers see me, like "Look at that bastard Loco"
He's a beast, he's a dog, he's a motherfuckin' problem
Okay, you're a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin?
Nothin', nothin', you ain't scarin' nothin'
On som bullshit, call 'em "Yoo Seungjun"
Call me what you want, bitch, call me on my Sidekick
Never answer when it's private, damn, I hate a shy bitch
Don't you hate a shy bitch? Yeah, I ate a shy bitch
She ain't shy no more, she changed her name to My Bitch
Yeah, homie, that's my bitch, so when she ask for the money
When you through, don't be surprised, bitch
It ain't trickin' if you got it
But you like a bitch with no ass, you ain't got shit
Muthafucka', I'm ill, not sick
And I'm okay, but my watch sick
Yeah, my drop sick, yeah, my Glock sick
And my knot thick, I'm it
Muthafucka', I'm ill, yeah, say-
They say I'm rappin' like Beenzino, Jay, and Mc Mong
Tiger JK, where is Yoo Mirae at? Who that?
Who that said they gon' beat Loco?
My name ain't Bic, but I keep that flame, man
Who that one that do that boy? You knew that, true that, swallow
And I be the shit, now you got loose bowels
I don't owe you like two vowels
But I would like for you to pay me by the hour
And I'd rather be pushin' flowers
Than to be in the pen sharin' showers
Tony told us this world was ours
And the Bible told us every girl was sour
Don't play in her garden and don't smell her flower
Call me Mr. Loco or Mr. Lawn Mower
Boy, I got so many bitches, like I'm Mike Lowrey
Even Lee Hyori, they say she couldn't doubt me
Muthafucka', I say, "Life ain't shit without me"
Chrome lips pokin' out the coupe, look like it's poutin'
I do what I do, and you do what you can do about it
Bitch, I can turn a crack rock into a mountain, dare me
Don't you compare me 'cause there ain't nobody near me
They don't see me, but they hear me
They don't feel me, but they fear me
I'm illy, C3, 3 Peat
"I never heard anyone rap like that before, but I like it! Considered yourself lucky. Welcome Loco!"
"I knew I was the fucking best! Once I hit the stage I'ma rock everyone. This the beginning." Loco boasted shaking hands with the staff.
And so Loco's unusual journey has begun...
YOU ARE READING
Loco: Block B's Crazy Rapper
RomanceBorn to grace the mic, Kwon Hyukwoo enteres the music entertainment industry as Block B's oldest member. Very shy towards people, his buddy Zico is determined to help his hyung come out of shell. Born with a distinct looking face that sometimes gets...
