State of Grace

Chapter 9: You Said 'Move On', Where Do I Go?

SAGE

"Happy birthday, Ate! Happy birthday, Ate!"

Pakanta-kanta si Dara paggising ko, and I knew she was doing it to cheer me up.

Dalawang araw na akong lugmok dito sa kwarto namin ng kapatid ko. For the first time since I entered college, nawalan ako ng ganang kumilos. Fortunately, my schedule yesterday was solely for my internship. Kaya babawiin ko na lang sa ibang araw yung mga oras na hindi ko napasok kahapon. Wala naman akong pasok sa UPD ngayon, so I wouldn't miss any classes much to my relief.

I could hear my phone sounding off from my nightstand, but I didn't bother to check. I knew those were messages from family and friends wishing me a happy birthday, pero hindi talaga ako masaya.

Ganito pala ang feeling kapag ayaw sa 'yo ng taong minamahal mo. It's ugly and it hurts like hell.

Tumabi sa akin si Dara sa kama ko at hinawi ang kumot na naka-talukbong sa akin. "Bangon ka na diyan, Ate! It's your birthday! I don't want to see you like that. Ano ka ba!"

"Sandara, sabihin mo nga sa akin," I started in a dull tone. "Have you ever experienced a heartbreak similar to what I'm going through right now?"

Kahit wala ako sa huwisyo, I didn't miss herself stiffening at my question. Parang na-alarma siya. Why? May nasabi ba akong masama?

Dara forced out a laugh in an attempt to lighten up the mood. "Ate naman. I never fell crazy in love. You know that. Hanggang crushes lang ako and I never told those guys because they turned out not worth confessing to. Kaya hindi ko alam ang pakiramdam ng na-reject."

For some reason, I wasn't convinced. Feeling ko tuloy she only chose a safe answer para lang hindi ko na siya tanungin pa.

"Pero eto lang ang akin ha, Ate. Yang si Sebastian Kairos, tarantado talaga siya..."

"Mahal ko pa rin yun, Dara!" I protested and she groaned in exasperation.

Kinuha naman niya ang kamay ko. "Ate, no, no, no! Makinig ka sa akin. It's now a fact that Sky rejected your feelings for him. That simply means he's not worthy of your affection, and you deserved so much better, Ate. Tandaan mo, siya ang nawalan, hindi ikaw. You will find The One for you someday, when the time is right. Kaya bangon ka na dito, please? Gusto kong makita kita na masaya ngayong birthday mo, okay?"

Parang bumalik ang dating Sandara Gabrielle sa mga sinabi niya. Her words made me smile, and that gave me the encouragement I direly needed to be able to face the world.

I was still wearing the peach dress from two days ago. Kaya nag-shower na ako at nag-ayos, and I instantly felt lighter. Sinagot ko muna ang video call ni Amy bago ako lumabas ng room.

"Happy birthday, Ate! Ay, wow! Ang fresh mo ha! Parang hindi ka..." Bigla na lang siyang natigilan.

"Parang hindi ako ano?" I raised a brow at her.

"Wala, Ate." She waved her hand dismissively. "I mean, I'm just glad to see you looking great. Aba, dapat lang ano? Birthday mo eh. Deserve mong maging masaya today. Nagkwento kasi sa akin si Ate Dara kahapon. Naku ha! Ang panget palang ka-bonding yang Bigotilyo na yan! Kukutusan ko talaga siya kapag nakita ko siya sa daan. Akala ba niya siya si Adonis na ubod ng gwapo? Hell no! He made the biggest mistake of rejecting someone like you na maganda, mabait at maalaga. Oh well, it's his loss. Sayang lang kasi I was shipping you two so hard, may naisip na nga akong hashtag eh. Hashtag Team KaiVannah! Ay naku, nakakainis! Ang ganda pa naman pero mukhang hindi ko na magagamit..."

I found myself chuckling at another episode of her lengthy monologue.

"Ayan! Napatawa din kita! Very good!" Amy beamed. "Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, you deserved so much better, Ate. Wag mong iasa ang happiness mo sa isang tao lang. Happiness comes in many forms, and you have many ways to find it. Just remember na kung saan ka masaya, masaya na rin ako for you. And I'm here for you always if need someone to confide in."