Jae's world ☆

materialization of the world (1)

Jae's forest is a huge shoebox. When we arrive at the walls, we can touch and realize that we are at the end of the forest. Jae likes the boxes, they are closed and secure. But sometimes Jae hates boxes. Because when the danger is within, it's hard to escape. Jae's world is a big box. The walls are navy blue like the night sky. The walls are made of cardboard, we can see that it's fake. It's always dark, Jae doesn't like daylight.

Jae doesn't like the day because he has to be awake and conscious. Jae prefers to use his imagination. On the ground there are grass and purple flowers shining. These purple flowers represent Jae's achievements, there are many. Jae is proud of himself sometimes.

Jae is proud of himself when he can bake a cake, when he did his best, when he helped someone, when he overcame a difficult challenge. For example, Jae hurts himself when he does something stupid. Jae is stupid, it happens. So he challenges himself not to harm himself for as long as possible. Sometimes it lasts several months, sometimes it doesn't last a day. Jae always does his best. But for a few days, instead of getting hurt, he'll try to improve himself.

His flowers are important to Jae, they shine brighter than his dark thoughts. Jae often thinks about not very pretty things. Sometimes he wonders how far he'll reach if a car hits him when he's crossing the streets. Sometimes he is very sad, but these purple flowers make him smile a lot !

When Jae is sad, he looks at his arms and tells himself that he has already hurt himself enough. « I am enough » he whispers to himself. Sometimes Jae cries like a baby, over little things. There's nothing criminal about making cookies in the microwave ?

★

In the middle of the shoebox there is a circle of houses and in the middle of this circle, there is fire. Above the houses, there is a huge mechanical star that makes music. This star is all that's left of Jae. Its music repeats itself constantly, always the same melody, at the same rhythm. Jae dances to this music when he's happy, cried all the tears he can when he's destroyed, Jae screams in pain until his scream fades away. This music has accompanied Jae for a long time. His world is nothing without this star. Sometimes Jae lies in the grass and looks at his scars with the starlight, and they disappear.

Jae hides his face and often cries because he feels ugly. But his friends are there to comfort him. Jae was just a little boy looking for love, sometimes he wonders why he's here. He dances around the fire and its heat dries his tears.

There is no moon or sun, just a star that rotates on its own axis. This star is pretty. Jae doesn't really know what it represents, but it is very very important. It lights up Jae's house and that of his friends. Jae sometimes wants to die in the grass and never wake up again. But sometimes Jae feels very happy and he wakes up all his friends.