I'm Fucking Fine, Okay? - EraserMic -

10

!!!TW!!!

Suicidal ideation, mentions of SH

CHAPTER 10

I sit perfectly still. Maybe, if I can sit still, I'll disappear and won't have to answer any questions.

'Come on Sho. You know what this is about'. I huff, looking down playing with my now slender fingers.

'I-I, um'. I have no idea what to say. How do I even begin to have this conversation?

Hizashi sighs. 'Sho, what's going on with you?'

The elephant in the room was so massive it had become a dinosaur. I know he feels the pain, because I can feel the wound on my shoulder.

See what you've done. Hizashi is suffering with your problems now because of you. He's in pain, and it's all your fault.

'I-I don't know what you're taking about' I manage to squeak out. Behind me, I hear shuffling. Clothes moving. Oh god no, please no. I hear a jacket being removed. Then the unwrapping of bandages. Then a gasp.

'Fuck Sho'. I hear him sniffle. 'What did you do?'

I keep my eyes glued to the floor. 'Sho, look at me'. I keep looking down at the floor. 'Sho'. Zashi gently nudges my chin up, looking at him. Well, me.

I look at myself.

UGLY. GROSS. LOOK AT ALL THOSE UGLY SCARS. ALL THOSE CUTS. PITIFUL. DISGUSTING. YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF.

I look away, unsure how to process what I've just seen. I really look awful.

'I-it looks worse than it is.' I mumble.

'Sho! I can fucking FEEL it. It looks as bad at it is!' He begins to cry properly now. 'Is this what you've been... Jesus... It fucking HURTS SHO'.

'I-I'm sorry, I never thought this would happen. I never wanted you to get hurt'. I lock eyes with my ugly black eyes. They stare back at me full of tears.

'Why do you do this?' He asks me, wiping away his tears. I look down, fumbling with my hands. 'I-I don't want to talk about it'.

Suddenly, Zashi stands up, grabbing his shirt, throwing it over his head. He grabs his bag and keys.

'W-where are you going'.

'Recovery Girl. She needs to know about this' He heads for the door, and I grab his arm. He winces.

See what you've done? He's in pain, all because of you.

'Please Zashi, please don't tell her' I'm begging at this point. He pauses in the doorway, looking at me. 'No Sho, you need help. And you need it now. I'm done with waiting'. And with that, he leaves the flat, door slamming behind him.

Shit what have I done?

You need to punish yourself.

Right, I think. I open my bedside table grabbing my glasses case, heading into the bathroom, locking the door. I pull up my sleeve.

Then I remember, this isn't my body. I look down at Hizashi's slender arm, devoid of cuts, smooth, beautiful.

You need to hurt yourself.

'I CAN'T!' I yell, cracking the mirror. I begin to cry into my hands. What are my fucking options at this point. I can't hurt myself, because I'm in Zashi's body. Zashi's going to see Recovery Girl, so soon everyone will know. I can't even kill myself right now.

Everything fucking sucks. I throw the razor back into the glasses case, and throw the glasses case into my sleeping bag.

Fine, guess I'll sleep then. I change into some comfy sweats and top, staring anywhere but my body as I do so.

I climb into bed, looking at the clock, 11pm. Okay, so I've been in Zashi's body for 2 hours now. Just need to sleep it off, then tomorrow morning I can finally kill myself.

- later -

I feel a bolt of lightening. I open my eyes; it's dark but I can tell I'm in the UA infirmary. Fucking thanks a lot Zashi. I look down at myself and blush slightly; I'm wearing Hizashi's clothes. I peek under the jumper. I am completely covered in bandages. Jeez, she really went overboard. I immediately look around for my capture weapon. Ah right yeah. It's not here.

I look around the infirmary; only one other person. I get up, trying to sneak out.

'Aizawa-Sensai?' A voice asks me. I turn around, clocking Midoriya. Great, just fucking great. I clear my throat.

'Yes Midoriya?' I say in a monotone voice. He smiles. 'You're back!' I sigh.

'Present Mic wasn't too annoying was he?' He shakes his mop of green hair. 'No, it was weird though. Having someone that sounded and looked like you, with the personality of Mic-Sensi. It was actually really funny!' He giggles. 'I didn't realise you could smile Sir!'

I am going to kill that cocatoo shit when I next see him. Oh wait. That's not my current objective.

'Why are you here Midoriya?' He looks down at his arm. 'Broke my arm again. Me and Kirishima wanted to see who was stronger'.

'He broke your arm?' I ask. He laughs. 'No, I had to break my arm in order to use my quirk and win'.

Jesus children are dumb. 'Well, hope you heal well, I'm off to get a coffee'. I walk across the room. Shit. Probably shouldn've said coffee, it's like 2 am. Oh well.

'Um, Aizawa-Sensai?'

'Yeah.' Damn.

'How'd that villain deal so much damage? Was it a part of their body changing quirk?' I look down at my hands. 'Sure kid'. Is all I can muster, before heading to the door. I turn around, looking at him.

'You know Midoriya, you're going to be a great hero someday'. His eyes light up 'Thank you Aisawa-Sensei! I would be honoured if I was even a bit as good as you!' I see him smile, and I smile back.

'Night'. I say, as I leave the room. I hope he forgives me for what I'm about to do.

Okay, I know for a fact that Mic is also awake, and he's probably called Recovery Girl by now, so I have to be quick.

I dart across the campus, dodging every camera I can, until I make it to the front gate. I am about to open the gate, when I hear a voice behind me.

'Eraserhead'. I turn around and see Nezu. 'What the hell do you want?' I spit at him. He sighs. 'You know full well what I want. Come back to UA. Now'. I've never heard him so serious. And for some reason, that makes me laugh.

'I think both you and I know that that's not going to happen' I say laughing, activating my capture weapon.

Nezu sighs. 'I thought you would say that' He says. 'Which is why I didn't come alone'. I hear the running of footsteps, and look up to see the entire class of 1-A running towards me.

'SHIT'. I say outloud. Nezu smiles. 'We had a back up measure, just in case the quirk ended sooner than expected'. The class reach me.

'WHERE'S THE VILLAIN?' Backugo yells, running up to us. Nezu smiles. 'Remember how I said that Aizawa got hit with a body switching quirk?' They all nod. I don't like where this is going.

'The villain switched with Aizawa. She's in there, right now, pretending to be him. Capture her, alive, because we need Eraserhead's body'.

'DIE VILLAIN DIE' Backugo yells, beginning to activate his quirk. I stare at Nezu, who smiles sweetly back at me.

Guess I gotta fight my own kids.