Hells Loss (sequel to Falling for Hell)

Chapter 5

DEAN POV.

No way...
Is it really?
I'm frozen in my tracks, stuck in shock.
"Dean..?"
The sound of him saying my name again snaps me back and i reach forward and grab him tightly. "I never thought you'd say my name again."
I start crying again, I've been crying a lot lately.
"I never thought id be seeing you again. Let alone hearing you. I missed you."
He hugs me back, I really hope this isn't a dream. "I love you cas."
"I love you too dean."
"Can we go back to my room to sit and talk?"
"Sure"
I let go of him as he lets go of me, i grab his hand in mine and walk back into my hospital room. Sam is still sitting there with tears in his eyes and his head resting on the bed beside my calf. I have to look away from the scene to prevent myself from being hooked onto the emotion in the room.
I sit in the little ledge they have by the window that's meant probably for a child. Once i sit, cas quickly follows and wraps one of his arms around my shoulder and places another hand on my thigh.
There are so many questions running through my head and I'm afraid to ask anyone of them because I don't want cas leaving me again. I put my head on his shoulder and think. I don't know how long but i end up closing my eyes and forget all about time because when I open my eyes it's light outside, cas looks asleep, sam is gone and it seems a lot busier here.
I realized something during all of that thinking though.
I need to ask him
Ask him really, why he had to leave. Why he had to leave me and his family like that, because I wouldn't be here right now if it didn't happen. I'd be at school, probably bored, but happy knowing I had a wonderful boyfriend I get to be with after school, and a nerdy little brother to look after and both I love so dearly.
But everything changed that day, and I look forward to pretty much nothing now.
And right before this, I understood my father, why he drank so much. And I saw myself like him. And it was too much and that was it. I was going to leave too, the thing that terrifies me the most now, is that I wasn't thinking twice about it. I wanted to leave everyone who loved and cared about me just because cas died and all the events that came after.
I take a deep breath and look over at cas. He's adorable in this state, like a little kitten. I nudge his shoulder a couple times and we shoots up. "Hey cas."
"Uh.. Hi"
I smile at him, "so cas, can I ask you a couple things?"
"What things?"
"You'll find out, just promise you won't leave me again."