Your Dark Promise

Chapter 15

Dean p.o.v

The next morning, Dean grumbled in pain as he woke. He couldn't remember what time they stopped yesterday or how long he'd been out for. Much like the first time, he couldn't remember much of the drug fueled day, just little bits and pieces floating around his brain here and there coming to light.

Everything hurt again. His lungs, his back, his arms, legs, hips, and shoulders. He figured if he didn't try to restrain himself so much and actually just fully gave in to the drug that he wouldn't hurt near as bad. But even though his feelings for Castiel were complicated, he wouldn't hurt the man in that way. Even though he was the cause of it.

Castiel stirred beside him, groaning out himself as he stretched his legs and halfway opened his eyes. Dean didn't know what to do right now, on the one hand he was beyond pissed that Castiel had done that to him again, on the other he was still worried about the mans temper and if he pissed him off again he'd inject him again. And then overriding all thoughts and feelings he was just so fucking tired.

Castiel propped himself up on a shaky elbow, "How're you feeling?" He asked his voice cracking, still raw from yesterday.

Dean blinked at him for a moment, "How do you think I feel?"

"Like you've fucked so much your dick might fall off? Castiel said with a smirk.

Dean sighed, "No I feel like I can't fucking do this anymore. I feel like I should figure out how to piss you off so much you just lock me away somewhere. I feel like I don't have it in me to keep surviving all of life's totally fucked situations that keep getting thrown at me. I feel like if you keep pumping that stuff in my veins it's going to kill me. And I feel like it can't come soon enough." He glared at Castiel before staring back at the ceiling.

Castiel lost the smirk from his face. Something close to disappointment flashing in his eyes before they shut for a moment. When he opened them again they reflected back to Dean the cool calculating self assured man that was always there. So he looked away.

"I'll consider not using that drug on you anymore. Not unless you want it, and possibly at a smaller dosage." Castiel offered in way of an explanation.

"Why would I want it, Castiel? I don't - " Dean bit at his lip, gaining control of his emotions. "I don't want to feel that way. Ever. I was fine before you came along with how I was."

"But you deserve to have those feelings! Don't let those southern douchebags take something like that from you!" Castiel shouted back.

Dean's face reddened. He'd forgotten Castiel had pried that secret from him. "And what you're doing is any better?"

Castiel snapped his mouth shut, thinking for a moment. "I admit it's a little close. But I argue it's not the same."

Dean blew out a breath, "Well as the person who has gone through both experiences, I argue it is."

Castiel sat up more to this, "Oh really? You have daily nightmares about me fucking you?"

"You just can't admit what you're doing is wrong, can you?" Dean said shaking his head.

Castiel didn't reply sitting in silence with Dean for a moment. "You realize this is the most we've spoken in like the whole time you've been here?" He finally said.

Dean didn't turn to look at him, "Dogs don't talk."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "So you're just going to continue to throw yourself a pity party instead of doing something about the people that have hurt you?"

"You don't know what it's like going through what I did. And technically you should be added to that list of people."

"Should be? But not yet?" Castiel asked curiously. Dean again sat in silence. "What if I moved ruining your family down my list to the number two spot, and move the Styne's up to number one?"

Dean didn't understand any of this. Why he was still talking about it. Why Castiel was offering any help, and what the price of that help would even be. He tossed his arm over his eyes, hoping maybe he'd fall back asleep, "And what would that cost me Castiel? You already own me and I have nothing else to give."

"You have plenty more to give me pet. But I also have my own reason's for hating that inbred family. They're on my list anyways I'm just bumping them up."

"And what are your reasons?" Dean asked over this conversation and not really wanting to continue it.

"Jacob Styne ruined my life." Castiel said quietly, quickly.

Dean turned his head to him, looking him over bewildered by that statement. "How so?"

Castiel straightened as if not realizing he had said that part out loud. He went to the edge of the bed, turning away from Dean, "It doesn't matter to you. All that should matter is I'll help you get your revenge."

He went to stand but Dean pulled him back, turning him back to face him, "So you can drug me up and force me to spill my trauma but can't even share your own shit with me?"

Castiel's p.o.v

Dean had a point there. But he doesn't talk about this, about that time in his life. Only Benny and a select few others knew anything about it. After everything Jacob put him through and everything he did to overcome what he reduced him to, he wasn't going to wallow in pity about it, especially not with Dean. He knew the man would see him differently if he knew all the details. And maybe that didn't matter since he was his captor and all, not like they were in a relationship or anything, but it did matter to him.

He snatched his arm away from Dean, deciding to act ever the hardass, "Why would I share anything else with you? I share my home, my room, and the comforts of my life with you. I don't owe you shit."

Dean just blinked at him, pulling his hand away, "Yeah, you're right. It's my fault for assuming something was changing here." He laid back down as Cas stood heading for his bathroom and closet.

He wasn't as sore as their first night fucking together, the shower had done wonders to help that, but he was still sore enough he had previously decided to stay home again for a few days. But with this weirdness hanging over him and Dean he just couldn't stay here in it.

Once he stepped out prepared, Dean was still laying on the bed, now staring out the windows. "Benny will be by in a bit with fresh clothes and food. If you need anything else let him know."

Dean nodded but then sat up halfway, "Is he? Is he with them? Or involved with them?"

Castiel looked him over and found himself wanting to actually give him what he could so he nodded, "He was. But not anymore. He helped me a lot with my issues with Jacob and decided to leave them and stay with me. But he is a hundred percent detached from them so don't worry about him. He's a good guy. Probably the only good guy to come out of there. And his last name is Lafitte, so no relation either."

"When was he with them?" Dean asked his voice sounding far off, so he really had no idea which member of the Styne's ruined him then.

"He and I left three years ago." Cas said almost wanting to reassure the guy and make him feel better.

Dean nodded, "What happened to me, happened two years ago."

"I know." Cas simply stated.

"How? I don't remember telling you that."

"Everyone knows something happened two years ago. You disappeared for weeks, your father turning over every stone to find you. And when you were spotted again it was to be sent away for years. It's just no one knew what happened." Cas shifted on his feet.

"And are you going to tell them? All the other organizations? Really put a damper on my family name?" Dean wasn't looking at Cas, just sitting up now holding a pillow to his chest as he kept looking out the window.

"I wouldn't ever do that to you Dean. Not with something like this." Cas said quietly but truthfully.

Dean just nodded from where he sat. Cas having this feeling like he should comfort him or say something else, or at least stay with him. But he couldn't bring himself to do any of those things as he opened the bedroom door and left.