Your Dark Promise

Chapter 18

Dean's p.o.v

Dean tossed and turned the rest of the night feeling just weird about himself. Since his incident, he had eventually really tried to get aroused. And nothing had ever worked for him. He hadn't even realized he was turned on last night until Castiel pointed it out, so unused to the feeling he didn't even recognize it. Was Castiel right that this was normal? How could anything that reminded him or his body of that time excite him?

When morning came, Dean had barely gotten any sleep, Castiel rose, looking him over and seeing the dark rings under his eyes he rolled his own, "Did you really stay up all night thinking about it?"

Dean gave him a nod but rolled over to him, needing to talk this out, and Castiel was his only option for that, "How is that normal?"

Castiel gave a groan as he rubbed at his face, "I have neither the time, the patience, or the crayons to explain this to you." He grabbed his phone from his bedside table typing at it for a moment before handing it to Dean, "Read it for yourself." He said as he laid down again, covering his eyes with his arm.

Dean read through several online articles on the subject, even personal blog accounts, from sexual assault survivors. And everything he read pointed him to the fact that his body and brain were trying to work together to make sex feel normal again. How Castiel understood this was beyond him. Another large consensus in all the articles encouraged the survivors once they found a partner they could trust to explore their sexual fantasies more to reclaim their sexual urges and desires.

But why the hell did it happen with Castiel. The man has kidnapped him, hit him, and drugged him. He wasn't in any way a safe partner. Dean didn't fully hate the guy fine, but he didn't feel either safe or secure with him. And anyways, Castiel only had him to piss off John, not because he actually wanted him.

Dean placed the phone on Castiel's chest once he'd read enough, even more confused than he was. "Help any?" Castiel asked on a yawn.

"I don't know." Dean answered truthfully. "Can I-" he bit at his lip, unsure if he had any right to ask anything of the man.

Castiel looked him over, "Ask your question, Dean."

"Can I have a phone? Or a tablet? I'm just so bored, and it would be nice to have the internet or just some books to download and read." Dean asked, fiddling with his fingers.

Castiel seemed to think this over for a minute, "If I give you a phone or anything with internet access, are you going to reach out to your dad or anyone to coordinate taking me down?"

Dean pressed his brows together, "What? No. I think by now you've caught on I don't particularly like my dad, and he don't like me." Castiel kept staring at him, "So no, I won't use anything you give me to plot your downfall."

Castiel quickly typed something out on his phone with a nod, Dean feeling a little defeated and ignored before Benny was opening the door the man walking to him and holding out a boxed smart phone with a black credit card on top. Dean took the two items as Benny left looking to Castiel, "What you just have a phone store somewhere in this building? And what's this for?" Dean said, holding up the black card.

"I always have spare phones laying about." He replied before flicking the card, "And that's for your books or whatever the hell else you need to keep you entertained." He stood leaving the bed, "Just don't go buying a Lamborghini or anything." He said, throwing Dean a smile.

Dean just kept staring at the two things, "Can I call Sammy?" He asked hesitantly.

Castiel sighed, "I'll install an app on both our phones so I can see everything you do on yours. That way, I'll have peace of mind on whether or not you're selling out all my secrets, and you'll be too paranoid of what I see to do anything too dumb."

Dean tried hiding a smile. This might be one of the few nice things the man had done for him. He stood from the bed and faced the shorter man before placing his arms around him, "Thank you, Castiel."

Castiel's p.o.v

Cas stiffened a little under the hug, not sure how to react. After a moment, he pushed Dean away from him, "Yeah, yeah. Get dressed and get the phone going. You're going downstairs today."

Dean set the phone down, disappearing into Cas' closet where his few allotted outfits were hung up after dry cleaning. He got ready himself, and after adding the app to his phone to monitor Dean, they went downstairs. He left Dean at the check-in area and went about his daily business, checking in at the bar, with his managers, talking to a few workers, all that fun bureaucratic bull shit.

He received several notifications on his phone alerting him that Dean was doing something on his, he sent a text to Samuel, bought one book on some fantasy crap, and continued googling what they had talked about earlier this morning.

Cas smiled to the thought of last night and the unexpected turn it took. Maybe Dean could learn to overcome whatever was blocking his body from reacting. He'd gone through much of the same thing after Jacob, except he never took on another sexual partner until Dean just worked through his own crap alone. He sat at his desk in his office, thinking through the last several years.

Him and Jacob had met in college. Even back then, Jacob was confident and self-assured, his southern accent easily charming everyone on campus. Cas was quieter but always was drawn to him. Of course, they came to know each other once their respective families learned they were attending the same school, Cas' father warning him not to fall in with Jacob, not wanting to blur any lines. But Cas did fall for him. They quickly started dating, excitement from going against their families' wishes fueling them on.

Jacob was ahead of him by a year, so when he graduated, Cas transferred to a college down close to his home to finish his degree. He opted to move in with Jacob rather than live in another dorm. Then it wasn't long until he started missing classes, wanting to spend all his time with the man, his family getting pissed and cutting off communication until he came to his senses. Eventually, all he had was Jacob, his world revolving around him.

Once Jacob convinced him to fully drop out of school, he convinced Cas to just stay home and take care of him, not have to worry about a job, or money, or his family. Then Jacob got more and more involved with the family business, his father revealing between his brothers and cousins that Jacob would be his successor. And Jacob suddenly had a lot more pressure on him, had to impress his father as much as he could to stay in his good graces, if you disappointed Monroe you weren't just demoted or shunned, you were killed, son or not.

Jacob got mean, would beat Cas, rape him, belittle him. Cas never felt lower. He became frail and sickly. He was on a first name bases with the hospital staff from how much he was always there beaten to near death by his boyfriend. Then Monroe Styne gave the order for Jacob to get rid of him, and it wasn't meant to be a simple break up. Nothing the Styne's did could ever be that simple or peaceful.

Once again, as if his thoughts reached out for the man, Cas received a text that Jacob was here. He checked the security camera monitors and realized he left Dean at the reception area where Jacob was heading. He raced for his door, throwing it open and running down the hall.