desire - daryl dixon x oc

9 - dogs

Days passed and we buried beth with a memorial. The loss impacted us all, so much that we barely spoke words to each other. I hadn't had a proper conversation with Daryl since the morning of her death, we exchanged small glances every so often and I asked him if he was okay a few times. The group went to Noah's community, in hope to find his family but everyone was gone. More loss, Tyreese got bit and he sadly passed away yesterday. We were on the road, nowhere to go, no place to stay. Just alone in the outside world.

"I'm gon' see what I can find," Daryl told Rick and I was slightly eavesdropping on the conversation. In hope and need to get away from everyone I added. "I'll go with you,"

"I got it," He mumbled back, passing his gun to Rick and clutching his crossbow.

My jaw clenched. "You gonna stop me?" I debated with the man, to in response he shook his head and made his way into the woods.

We wandered through the woods in silence and pain until I broke it, "Anything?" I asked him, stopping still in my tracks and placing my hands on my hips firmly.

"Nah it's too dry, ain't nothing here," He kicked the leaves on the ground out of annoyance.

"Maybe we should head back," I suggested to him, scratching my neck from the mosquito bites that had formed.

"Nah you go, i'll be fine," He mumbled back, keeping his ocean blue eyes glued to the ground.

My eyes scanned around the eerie woods "i'm not leaving you alone out here," I told him firmly.

"i want to be alone," His eyebrows furrowed, like he was about to yell at me.
"But you shouldn't, not after everything that's happened," I replied taking a step closer towards him.

"just leave me alone," He clenched his fists together.

"Listen Daryl, you don't even know what you need right now, but I do. You need a friend to help you get through this because you can't bottle up your feelings all the time. we lost beth, she's gone! she's dead. and everytime i try to talk to you about or ask if your okay you say your fine when i know that your aren't!" I yelled out to him.

"You two were close friends you went through a lot of shit together so when i ask you if your okay and you say your fine? after losing her the way we did?
i know that it's bullshit okay? So stop trying to ignore me, or push me away because I know that you need a friend right now!" I added, my breath in a rush from the sudden outburst.

"I don't need to talk about it! Beth is dead and it's my fucking fault! I told her to climb out the window!" He yelled, taking a step closer towards me and then pointing his finger at himself.
"She got kidnapped and it's my fault! If one of us went with her then she would've been fine! I don't want to talk about it, because I don't talk about stupid shit like that and when I know that I caused this. The only fucking thing i'm feeling is guilt and regret!" He blurted out, looking down to the ground afterwards as he was fighting back tears.

"It wasn't your fault Daryl. And if you think that it is then your just stupid" My voice changed to a softer tone in attempt to comfort the man, I placed my hand on his cheek and wiped the tear that managed to break free from his eyes.

"I should've told you to go with her.." His voice cracked as he muttered.

"We didn't know then that this was going to happen, it's not your fault daryl so stop telling yourself that.." Impulsively, I wrapped my arms around his torso and brought him in for a hug. "Stop blaming yourself for everything that happens,"

He stood with no words, slowly hugging me bag with his warm shaky breath travelling down to my neck, which caused my cheeks to flush pink.
"Come on let's head back," I let out an awkward giggle to relieve the furious tension spewing in the air.