selling and telling (Carl Gallagher fanfic)

Heartache

I wake up to Carl being gone. That made me sad. I looked at my phone. No miss calls or texts or anything. I texted him good morning and started getting ready. I got to Kat's party. She was not here yet. I was nervous for the party. Like what if she doesn't like it? 

It was actually really good. It was fun. I drove home. I changed into some light wash jean shorts and a kind of baggy tee shirt. I walked outside my empty house. I walked inside the Gallaghers. Fiona was the only one inside. "Hey Fiona!" I cheered. "Hey Tessa! Well you look beautiful!" She told me. "Thank you sexy!" She laughed. 

"Carl here?" I questioned. "I think he went to the hot tub but I am not sure" She told me. "Okay" I walked out back. I hope he had a better day than last night. 

I walked down the steps and almost threw up. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled loud enough for the whole south side to hear. Carl was kissing some girl in his hot tub. I gasped for air. Normally I would go snatch her out of there but now.. I couldn't even move. "Ca- Carl?" He looked at me in surprise. "Tess- Tessa it's not wh- What it looks like I-I Swear!" He shouted. 

I had tears pouring down my face. I stormed over there. I looked at the girl. She looked scared. I did not even know what to do. I was speechless. "I-" I could not form any words. I knew I looked a mess. I could not even look at Carl. I could only look at this girl sitting in this hot tub looking like I was going to kill her. 

"I am so sorry its not hi-" "Shut the fuck up!" I screamed at her. This is to much. "Tessa are you ok- What the fuck!" I heard Fiona say from a distance. "Tessa" Carl spoke. I took a breath. I looked at him. 

"Tess-" "Shut up!" I yelled. I put my hands behind my back so I did not hurt anyone. "Why do you always do this to me?" Was the only thing I could ask. He heard that and his tears poured. "Tessa it isn't-" "Am I just not good enough? Seriously if you don't fucking like me can you stop making me fall in love with you!" I said low. 

I turned to walk around then I stopped. I walked to the girl. "Get out" I told her. She hesitantly got out. "ILL KILL YOU BLONDIE!" I yelled and she started running. I started speeding walking away. I felt like someone just shot everything through me. Everything felt so slow and fast at the same time. 

"Tessa" I heard being repeated in my mind. I turned around. Carl was right there. "I fucking loved you man!" I told him. "I can't even explain wh- what I fucking fe-felt dude. I never wa- want to se-see you again!" I yelled at him. He wrapped his arms around me and I stayed there. I loved him. I loved him so much. Then I pushed him away. 

"I never want to see you again Gallagher!" I shouted and walked away. I got in my car and drove away. I went to the alibi. I needed to get wasted. I am glad Kevin is cancer free. One good thing for today. I walked in. I looked horrible. "Congratulations Kevin!" I shouted. "Thank you Tessa! Are you okay?" He asked. 

I took some deep breaths. "Carl" I paused. Ve walked over. "Carl cheated on me today" I explained. Kev gasped. "Ill hurt that boy!" Ve shouted. "It's okay Ve, Seeing him in pain will make my heart hurt worse" I said with more tears coming down. "Wow kid you have a big heart" Kevin said. "Can you just give me some shots?" I questioned. "Id?" She said. I gave them my fake one. They know my real age its just for safety. 

I wanted to drink him away. I needed to drink him away. I tried so hard. Somehow the more I drunk the more his memory became worse. It was scaring me. I felt like I could feel his emotions somehow. Maybe I was feeling his sadness. Was he sad? probably fucking not. 

"Another shot please!" I said. "Your last one then you need to slow down young lady" Ve told me. I smiled and chugged it. 

"Do you know the dude talking to Debbie?" V asked. "no but can I have a beer and I will find out" I told her. she gave me a beer and I opened it and went over there.

"Hey Debbie" I said to her. "oh hey Tessa" She told me back. "Who are these people?" I asked her. "Just school friends" She answered. "oh where is Neal?" I questioned. "at home" She replied. "did he give you a hickey?" I asked . "nope that was me" the boy next to her answered. "oh so you left your boyfriend at home while you whore around with a dude?" I asked her. "what no" She said. "where is Franny?" I asked her. "at derricks moms" she said. that pissed me off. "the same place me and Monica got her from Debbie how dumb can you be?" I asked her. "Tessa that is not fair you are supposed to be my best friend and support my choices" she yelled. "well not when they are fucking stupid ass ones come on Debbie get a hold of yourself I am not dumb you have been having drinks with your "friends" while other people take care of your responsibilities" I yelled back. 

"Tessa calm down let's go to the bar top" V said trying to get me to calm down. the man moved over and Debbie climbed out. she got in my face. "Really Tessa? It is okay for you to go and party and go to jail and do drugs and drink and fuck Carl and then hop in and out of relationships but when I do something fun for once it is a problem?" Debbie yelled. "Debbie the difference between me and you is I do not have a baby or a disabled boyfriend at home. I also pay my bill's, make sure my siblings are okay and do work and school so please try that bullshit on someone else" I yelled back.

"Whatever Tessa no wonder your mom left you" Debbie said and that made my angry worse. "Do not fight back" v said. "well, your mom is dead " I said. "fuck you Tessa" Debbie said and she punched me. "stop KEV" v yelled. I grabbed my nose. I do not want to hurt my best friend. Sometimes you have to. I punched her right back in her nose. "yeah, fuck me nah fuck you" I told her.

I took 100$ out my purse and put it on the bar and drove home. I went inside and everyone was quite. I opened the fridge and got me a soda and went to my bathroom. I had blood from nose. I am surprised it was not broken.

I somehow made it to my bed. I grabbed the bottle I had hidden under my bed and started to drink it.  I heard someone walking. "Mom?" I called. The door opened. It was Carl. "Get out" I whispered and said stern. "I didn't cheat!" He tried to say. "If you wake that baby up ill kill you!" I whispered and walked to my door waiting for him to walk out. 

"Tessa please listen to me I did not cheat on you-" "You expect me to believe that Carl?" "Yes Tessa! She kissed me first! She walked over in her bathing suit and I was like "Can I help you?" and she just jumped in and started kissing me!" He cleared. I rolled my eyes. He walked over to me and grabbed my face. "I love you Tessa. You are my person" He told me. 

 "What the fuck happened to your nose?" Carl asked. "Your sister" I said. "Which one?" He asked. "Debs" I sad sadly. "What the fuck did yall have a fight?" He asked me. "yeah, it was over some bull shit it should have no went that far but she punched me first and I punched her back but I left because I knew it was wrong" I confessed.

"Debbie is a hand full I am sorry it ended with a fight this bad" Carl told me. "yeah me too, it just sucks because she is one of my best friends and it was just so fucking stupid. I had a bad day" I explained. "I know love".

I took a breath. "Carl I love you I really do but I think we should break up" I said with my voice cracking. "What? Why?" He asked. "We are on different parts in our life's and we are still so young. If we are meant to be fate will bring us together but for now we should be friends" I explained. "But I love you Tessa!" "I love you Carl. Just because we break up doesn't mean I wont love you no more, We have the rest of our life to worry about relationship. I realized today that I really could have killed myself because of the heart ache I felt and I have so much on my mind. I love you Carl" I explained. 

I seen the tears fall out his eye. "I love you Tessa" He said and he kissed my forehead. He walked out my room and shut my door. I started crying. I ran and jumped like a star fish on my bed. 

My heart hurt so much. It hurt worse earlier. Us just being friends will help me not feel so sad about him seeing other girls. Does he think I am stupid? After his speech last night and the girl just randomly walking in his bathing suit to the hot tub. I should have just kept him as a friend. I knew he had trouble just keeping one girlfriend. No matter how much he loves you if someone does try something he wont hesitate.