selling and telling (Carl Gallagher fanfic)

JJ

Me and Sage were talking about the night we had. The door bell went off. "It's probably Colden" she said as she went to get the door. After a few seconds "hey it's for you" who would want me at this time of night?

I walked to the door. My heart stopped when I saw who it was. My fist clenched. "Get the fuck out!" I shouted at the dude. "I just came here to apologize!" I hoped I would never have to see this dude again. Jj.

"Jj get away from my house!" " I just want to apologize please!" I sighed. "Do I need to call the police?" Sage asked. "Just come get me in 5 minutes" I told her and shut the door.

He was looking at me like he was trying to read me. "Say what you have to say." He fixed his posture. "I have thought about that night every day. What I did was wrong and unacceptable and I am a shitty person for thinking I could do that to people. It made me feel like I could actually have control of something in my life. Now I realize how wrong I was. You were genuinely an amazing person and I took advantage of that because I never thought someone like you could be my friend. I was never one hundred percent honest with you. My mom is a crack head literally. My dad gets drunk every night and the night I had you over was the first week they left me alone in my house. They moved out and ever since I have been house hopping. I dropped out of school the next few days after what I did to you because I could not live with myself for it. I even tried to end my life multiple times from it."

"I can tell it didn't work" I felt bad for saying that. "Sorry I was just taking an observation" "you have every right to say that. I was talking to my counselor about it and she told me that I need to apologize. Tell you my wrong doing. That's why I am here. Tessa I am truly sorry for what I did. I am not wanting you to forgive me. I am wanting you to just know I feel bad for it every day and I know you have to feel worse every day than I do. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to take my apology but I understand why you wouldn't"

I thought. I do forgive him because I do not need to hold hate in my heart for people. I preach about how others shouldn't do it but I do the same thing. A little hypocritical of me to do so.

"I forgive you Jj, but what you did was horrible and no one deserves to go through that ever. I honestly hope you never have to feel the fear and pain I felt. I thought you were going to be my friend. I had a bad feeling and I should have left, but I didn't think you would do something like what you did. I am sorry about your parents and I understand how stuff at home can make us act a certain way but that was to far. I am also sorry you have to house hop. That is terrible as well. I pray one day your situation will be better. I also hope you are being sincere about this and not just fucking with me again." I watched as the tears fell out his eyes.

He wiped them and swallowed. "Thank you for forgiving me and I am so sorry made you feel that way. I never wanted to truly hurt you so bad. I just wanted to feel love" that made me feel worse. I remember the night and think of it often. The way his hands felt on my thighs. The fear I felt when I noticed what was going to happen. How could someone do something like that? But then I know some people's minds are just fucked up.

"Do you have a scar?" I asked. His face was confused. "From the bottle?" He pulled his hair back and walked up some and I seen it. "Shit sorry" "no you shouldn't be sorry you were scared and I would have done it if I was you. I actually did hit someone with a root bear bottle. I learned it from you" why would he randomly hit someone with a bottle?

"My friends dad tried to come onto me. I finally knew what it felt like to feel that fear." I felt terrible. "If you need to talk about it I can listen" he shock his head no. "I I I don't ..." he took a pause. "I don't like talking about it. Nothing to do with you just the situation. Also this is supposed to be my apology to you. Again I am sorry. You look amazing and healthy by the way. I know that sounds weird but you just look more healthy then before" I laughed.

"Yeah I have been trying to eat more and stuff." I seen his shoes were so busted up. His jacket had stains. I took my hand into my pocket and grabbed a 20$ bill. "Here!" "No I can't take that!" "Take it. Get something to eat and something you need. Don't spend it on nothing bad. Take care of yourself and keep going on your road of being a better person. Maybe one day if I am stuck you can help me out" he smiled.

"Why would you do that?" I smiled. "Because if I was in your shoes I would want someone to do the same. Plus I did give you a pretty nasty scar." We both chucked. "If you need me you know where I am" "thank you Tessa." "Of course Jj"

I walked inside and shut the door. I started crying. He didn't have to come apologize and he did. How do I even know if he really means it this time? What if he just wanted to see it I was easier to try and use this time? Or what if he was being for real and he does feel bad for what he did and wants to be a better person?

"Tessa are you okay?" Sage asked. "No. I am not" I admitted. "Come here baby" I explained everything. She knows how it feels. I think that made it worse, Because she knows exactly how I feel.

She rubbed my hair as we laid on the couch. I laid in her arms. I cried like a baby until I went to sleep. Even after I went to sleep Sage stayed there rubbing my head and telling me. "It's okay" "we are going to get through this" "I am proud of you" "I love you"

Me and Sage butted heads a lot but she has really been helping me lately. She had matured a lot. I love her a lot.