selling and telling (Carl Gallagher fanfic)

Friends or nothing

The memories from last night replayed in my head all day. Carl keeps texting me and I can not get the balls to answer. I was working at Patty's. I seen Lip was calling. "Hello?" "Hey can you come get Xan from my shop?" "Yeah is everything okay?" "I will explain when you get here" "Alright love you" "Love you" 

I clocked out and when to the shop. I seen her sitting behind the desk. "Hey Xan!" I walked over to Lip. "Hey" She said kind of harsh. "What's the matter?" Lip turned around to me and grabbed my arm to pull me to the side. "So Xan was watching the twins today when she left them alone at the park because she stole someone's purse." I was in shock. Why would Xan do anything like that? 

"Are they sure it was her, maybe it was another kid?" "No Tess, She told me she sends her mom money because she doesn't have any" I sighed. She wanted to help her mom. "Oh" I mumbled. "Well I will talk to her on the way to your house" He smiled and hugged me. "Thank you so much Tess I truly appreciate it". I smiled "It's nothing I understand. See you soon!" 

I walked to Xan. "Hey Xan I am going to take you to Lips place alright?" "Okay" She followed me to my car. She sat down. "Seatbelt!" She slide it on. We were driving. "Lip told you didn't he?" I frowned. "yes but only me." "Are you mad at me?" I looked at her. "No I could not be mad at you about this situation. Do you want me to be honest?" "Yea" 

"I am mad at your mom. Even though I do not know her she sounds like my mom. My mom was an alcoholic. I grew up with her scamming people for money without me even knowing it. Every birthday card I got with money that she "Put up" For me, She actually took my money. I never knew the wrong then. Now I know I was feeding her habit without even trying to." I heard her take a deep breath. 

"Where is your mom today?" I got chills. "She passed away a few months ago" "I am sorry" "it's not your fault. Now how about we go and get some ice cream and burgers?" She smiled and nodded. 

I took her to the boat dock with our burger, fries, and milkshakes. We sat there and talked and ate together. We laughed, cried and everything else. "You know Tessa, I never really knew what friendship felt like. Even though you only take care of me for Lip. You showed me what a real person is" I felt the tears come to my eyes. My throat got dry. 

"Really me?" Was all I could get out. "Yes. Thank you" She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same. "You know Xan if you ever need anything ever, No matter how big or small. I will be here!" She smiled. 

When we got back to Lips she went to Ian's bed. I heard dogs barking and I went downstairs. Ian was sitting at the kitchen table. "IAN!" I yelled and hugged him. He was surprised. "Wow you are buff!" "Thanks Tessa!" "How have you been?" "Good but if you would have seen me you would know!" "I tried Ian but since I am a juvenile they told me no!" "Awe well thank you for trying!" "any time red head!" 

"There you are Tess" I knew that voice. I looked at him. "Hey" I told him. He had his uniform on. "follow me!" He told me. I went upstairs with him. He went into his room. "Hold on" He said and grabbed clothes. "Now follow me" I was just following him. 

"Tess!" Xan called. "What's up?" I wondered. She smiled as she waved me over. "Is that the Carl you were telling me about?" She whispered. I smirked. "How did you figure it out?" "He talked about you all this morning" I smiled. "he said a lot of good things" "I sure would hope so!" She laughed. 

"Goodnight Xan" "Goodnight Tessa" I walked out the room. I did not see Carl. "I am here" Like he could read my damn mind. I looked and seen him in the bathroom. "Come in" I walked in and he shut the door. "How did you change so fast?" I asked him. "I have practice. Anyways since my room is occupied I wanted to ask you somewhere more private" 

One thing about Carl is he doesn't like being straight to the point. I raised my eyebrows. "Why are you ignoring me?" I chuckled. "What! I have not!" "Oh really?" "Yes!" He snatched my phone out my back pocket and unlocked it. "Really?" He showed me the text. I took my phone back. 

"Have I done something wrong Tess? I am so sorry if I did anything!" "Okay! I will explain." I was thinking of where to begin. I was also saying anything to make him shut up. "I was to scared to respond" He curved his eyebrows in confusion. "Why?" 

"Because I did not want to lead you on Carl! Last night should have no happened like it did and that is my fault. Carl we can only be friends and we have established this factor a long time ago." He looked so hurt. "See this is exactly what I am talking about! I hurt you and I do not want to be the one to hurt I want to be the one who gets hurt!"

"Wait what?" "Not like that! I rather have myself hurt than hurt you Carl and I failed. Carl you hurt me so many times and I hurt you before and we just cannot keep doing this shit! If we can not just be friends then we can just be nothing!" I explained. 

"I do not understand Tessa." "I only want to be your friend. No kissing, no sex, no flirting, no cute google eyes looking at each other and no laughing to long at each others jokes! No long hard stares.. No more depending on each other for actually happiness" I felt sick yelling this to him. 

"We can not just be friends Tessa, It never works" "Then we need to make it." He wiped the tears out his eyes. "What if this is not what I want?" His voice broke. My eyes were filled up with tears. What should I even tell him now? I want to cave but I just cant. 

"You care for me right?" He nodded. "Then care enough about me to understand my decision. We can only be friends" He shock his head no. "No I can not only be your friend Tessa I did it for long enough I love you more than anything even more than myself!" "We can only be friends Carl!" "No Tessa do not do this to me!" 

"Friends or nothing!" He looked me in the eyes and looked down. "I rather be nothing if I can not be with you" He said so low and, in a tone, where I do not even think he believes it as he walked out. I ran out behind him. 

"You are just going to walk out on me jackass?" I called out. "What else if there to do Tessa? You do not want to listen to me but want me to listen to you!" "Just be my fucking friend Carl please! I am begging you to just be my friend and not walk out on out friendship like this!" He looked so sad. 

"Are we really fighting over something like this?" He questioned. I nodded my head aggressively. "Then maybe you are right, We are not good for each other" "I know" I wiped my tears. he walked to me. "Friends?" I smiled big. "Friends!"