ELIZA

1

"It's over." Justine said after Alina threw a book at her.

Alina was prone to these fits in their relationship, but she had never shown a fury like this before. Justine had just told her that she was in love with a new girl, Jasmine, in her a capella group. Such a move warranted jealousy from Alina, but not enough to inflict violence on her beloved.

They had been together since their first year at Smith, and they were each other's first girlfriends, first loves. They studied abroad together in Australia in their junior year, where they decided they did not have to learn a new language but still have an amazing adventure. They spent that year full of love, but Alina's moods started weighing Justine down. By the beginning of their senior year, they had stopped spending time together, even though they slept in the same bed every night. Just enough distance for Justine to get cozy with Jasmine.

All the infidelities that Justine could have done raced through Alina's mind. The betrayal of loving someone else was worse than a hookup. Still, Alina loved Justine, but Justine would not have it anymore. It was really over, and not in the "over" that their two week split in sophomore year was over. They truly were done. Justine saw to that.

That night, Alina took the night bus home to New York City, where upon dropping her bags, she fell into her grandmother's arms and wept. The smells of a Filipino house, the garlic and adobo, and her family were not enough to console her. What was Smith without Justine? What was life without her at all? Alina drew up a naive plan, kind of like a divorce agreement, that they would see each other every day at lunch and try to work things out, but when she tried talking to her mom about it, her mom merely said, "You can't control another person," and left the subject.

So the weeks went - a blur of classes and working out, conversations with her friend, Katrina and her inner circle at Wilson House. Alina kept on wondering how Justine was faring in her new relationship, kept circling in her mind's eye that dark brown pixie cut and hazel eyes that haunted her in her dreams. No more perfect hourglass and smooth, warm pale skin to wake up to, just the makeshift pillows of a person who was no longer home.