ELIZA

8

In the new semester, Alina tried to forget Katrina's message, but it was hard not to think about it. Would Justine make an appearance out of nowhere? Alina hadn't received any texts from her. Plus, Katrina was so protective that she wouldn't let Justine close. I must stay dedicated to Eliza, Alina thought.

But she's not here, Alina thought, disheartened. Long distance was so hard. When Alina returned to her room on the first day, she could still smell Eliza's shampoo on her pillows. Sure, they talked on Messenger everyday, but it was not the same.

They started fighting. Alina learned that Eliza, an Aries, had a fiery temper, and when they fought, a "fuck you" or two was thrown around. Alina, being from the city too, could be equally as mean, if not more.

She would take moments to chastise Eliza for not being available on demand. Eliza was the type of person who loved to experience art, culture, and society. There was plenty of that in Buenos Aires, and when she was done at the end of the day, she would be too tired to talk. The FaceTimes went from everyday to every other day to once a week.

Alina felt neglected. Eliza was stressed, too, juggling Spanish, bad host parents, and a new city. Alina couldn't see it from Eliza's perspective because her pain was too powerful. She was always preoccupied by her discomfort.

Alina had stopped sleeping again. It had been weeks, and every morning her eyes burned from lack of sleep. Her heart raced each morning, and to keep it from getting worse, she would go to the gym to regulate herself. She feared that she would not make it through the semester at this rate.

One time in her first year, before she had a therapist and medication, she let a girl who was interested in her come into her room after not sleeping for five days. She thought that if she hooked up with that girl she would stay in the room and fall asleep with her. The girl got what she wanted and left.

I can't make that mistake again, Alina thought. Three weeks had passed, and a snowstorm hit Northampton. She hadn't gone to the gym in days. Alina was desperate for sleep. Eliza was unresponsive that evening, so she could not get relief from cyber sex, and her own attempts had failed.

Desperate, she opened her phone. Hey, she typed, and hit "Send".