ELIZA

13

The fighting continued when Alina returned in the days that followed. Alina grew frustrated, waiting for each day that Eliza was willing to FaceTime, but it was always something that prevented her - class, a night out with friends, her parents visiting her.

It seemed that the only time that Eliza wanted to talk was to fuck over the internet. Alina was being harsh. When they did get intimate over FaceTime, they would look at each other, not once breaking the gaze. Alina did not care if she moaned loudly as she touched herself. She wanted Eliza to get wet for her. After they came, Eliza would taste herself. Alina would make herself come again.

One time, when Eliza prioritized FaceTiming her friends over her, Alina grew angry with jealousy and impatience. We should be talking everyday, Alina thought, lonely. She never truly said how she felt. She let things build up until she blew up at Eliza.

"What are we even doing? This isn't a relationship if we're never gonna talk!" Alina barked at Eliza.

"You always threaten this! You're so mean. I'm just trying to be present here." Eliza cried, tears running down her face.

It was true. Alina would dangle the relationship over Eliza's head when she was uncomfortable. She did that with Justine, too.

"I'm sorry. I love you." Alina said guiltily. She tried her best to cheer Eliza up, and it worked for the most part. Eliza was still her girlfriend, but Alina did not want to spend the last few weeks of her last semester being lonely and sad. Alina resolved to be present, too.

She went drinking with her friends every Wednesday at the local Irish pub, smoked cigarettes by the pond, and feigned happiness at parties. Alina and Eliza still chatted on Messenger and FaceTime, but it seemed that Eliza did not notice Alina's newfound absence.

Hey. A message from Justine two weeks before graduation. It was as if she knew something was up with Alina.

Wanna meet up? Alina replied. She was lonely, but she was too young to understand that no person could fill the void in her heart. Justine was still available, and as graduation came closer, Alina noticed several old flames spending time with one another. Chelsea and Mason. Lisa and Tara. It hit her that she might never see Justine again, whereas she would make it work with Eliza when she returned.

Alina felt no guilt this time. She would never see Justine again. Eliza had told her that she was going to spend a few months in Peru, interning at a hospital, after Argentina. This frustrated and moved Alina even more to make the most of her final weeks at Smith.

They met at the bridge by Local Burger and the Roost. Alina and Justine walked there in their first year, and it was there that they realized that they had feelings for one another.

"Tell me, what's wrong?" Justine said with all knowing eyes, but like a vulture ready to attack her prey.

Alina, naive, thought this would be an innocent encounter since they were in public. Alina was prone to wishful thinking without understanding the gravity of her actions.

Looking out into Main Street, Alina said, "It's Eliza. She won't be back for a while. We hardly talk, and she doesn't seem to mind."

"She doesn't deserve you, you know." Justine said. Alina wasn't sure if Justine said that to get what she wanted or if it was really true. The hardships of long distance were weighing on Alina.

"I know you. I can make you happy." Justine continued.

Alina was shocked. Justine, just a few months ago, broke up with her and annihilated her heart. She found happiness in Eliza. Sometimes. Alina could not tell because of the long distance.

Justine walked up behind Alina and held her close. Alina let her stay there.