Reaper ~ THG AU

Ch. 38: Last Gift

The train that brought my brother to his death now takes me back to my sanctuary. It looks exactly the same, but there is an obvious absence. My hands rest on the railing, looking out the window at the passing landscapes.

I glance beside me, thoughts of Acacius standing beside me making me close my eyes. A deep breath leaves me, my tears threatening to fall once more. This has happened more than once in the days since his death.

If I'm not thinking of him, the my mind is repeatedly repeating the same scenes over and over and over....

Jasper gripping his bleeding neck as he falls....Jovie falling with the knife in her back before I stab her in the chest with a spear. Dante desperately trying to grasp his falling guts as he falls himself. Caraty screaming as she collapses from my leg kicking in her own. Her head rolling from impact of me swiping with my weapon.

Or Augustus sitting on top of me with his hands wrapped around my n-

"You look like you need a drink."

I turn, finding Chaff walking into the dining car. He has a bottle in his hand, his nub swinging in the air freely. Based on the level in the bottle and the slur in his voice, he's been drinking for a while.

"Does that actually help?"

"Eh. Sometimes. Other times it makes the memories worse. Most of the time I drink so much that I forget everything, not just the memories that I'm running from. It mainly takes away the sting of the pain. Do you want to try?"

I eye the bottle, debating whether or not to take his offer. It might never occur again and he might be right about it helping. Then again...

"How much longer until we're back in eleven?"

"Enough for you to be sober by the time we get there. And your room has a wash room if you're worried about the smell."

He holds out the bottle, once more. I sigh, eyeing it before grabbing the liquor. I unscrew the cap before taking a large gulp. My throat burns as I swallow, the thought of barfing strong. Chaff laughs as he walks away, nodding towards the bottle.

"You can keep that. You probably need it more than me. I have another in my room anyways. Good night."

He leaves me alone, my eyes dropping to the glass bottle clutched in my grip.  I sigh, taking another gulp before turning to head to my own room.

——

My head pounds as I stumble through the train. I'm blinded by the flashing lights of the moving train, making me groan in regret. I ended up finishing the bottle in my room before passing out on my bedroom floor. My back and neck ache from the hard floor, my hair a mess along with it.

I spot Seeder sitting at the small dining table alone, eating breakfast while she sips her tea. She eyes me up and down as I stumble in, rubbing my eyes. The lights are too bright in here and she seems to notice.

"I see Chaff has introduced his methods of medicating..."

"At least he's doing it now after leaving me and Acacius out to dry for the games."

I plop in the closest chair, immediately reaching for some water. I chug a full glass before I start to fill my plate with the countless meats and breads. I avoid the greens and vegetables as thoughts of going back to only that makes me nauseous.

"Here. Drink some of this."

She hands me a glass of orange juice, making me give her a look. I drink some, enjoying the tangy sweetness with a sigh. She takes a sip of her own drink before reaching over and grabbing a book.