Reaper ~ THG AU

Ch. 42: Gems

"Found her..."

I jump awake at the sound of someone's voice. Atlas stands in the doorway of Acacius's room, Briar right next to him as she sighs. Atlas nods before turning and walking out without another word. I sit up, letting go of Acacius's dirty shirt that was still clutched to my chest.

"You had us worried for a moment there, Z..."

A yawn leaves me as she steps over. I reach up and rub whatever sleep that still lingered away. I notice she has a tray of food in her hands, the smell of steaming left overs wafting towards me. She steps over, handing me the tray before sitting in the wooden chair the shirt was hanging on last night.

"Sorry, B..."

"It's okay. I should have known you'd be in here as soon as Aurelia said you weren't in bed with her this morning...."

She sighs, studying the room. I start eating the food, forcing it down as my throat and stomach complain. The thought of eating almost me barf it all back up. Briar doesn't seem to notice my internal battle as she looks back towards me.

"The peacekeepers who are in charge of showing us the new house stopped by and said we have an hour before the camera crew gets back here. Apparently everyone in the Capitol is feening for more of you..."

I swallow the food as Briar folds her hands in her lap. She watches me shovel more of the leftover casserole into my mouth before her. I can tell she's a little confused at my actions, but I'm not going to be the one to tell her that if I don't eat like this...

Let's just say I won't eat at all.

"They also caught wind of the memorial and want to film it as well. Because of that, I figured we could just do one in the next few days at your new house. Rumor is that it'll have a lovely garden that could fit quite a few people."

"How did they find out about the memorial?"

"Sven talked to our neighbors who talked. He was hoping to use their stove and oven to cook some more food for it. Speaking of, that boy is already here to help move everything to the new house. Sloan and Aurelia are in the kitchen eating breakfast with him right now. Sven won't be able to help today but I figured you'd be okay with that considering what he's doing for-"

"It's all good, B...could you prepare some bath water for me? I could use a nice soak before I have to be broadcasted across Panem once more..."

I rub my head as a headache comes on. Briar nods, grabbing my now empty tray from the bed. She stands without another word, leaving me alone in the quiet room. Letting out a deep sigh, I throw back the blanket and force myself to get out of the bed.

Acacius's pile of clean clothes catch my eye. My bare feet carry me over to the stack of neutral cloth. A cream dress shirt calls my name, a small smile coming to mind as I pull it out of the stack. A small, embroidered flower sits where a hole used to be. I had to fix it years ago for him and this is what he picked.

A single daisy...

"What're you doing?"

I turn, finding my little sister standing in the doorway with the same stuffed rabbit from my memory. I offer a small smile, clearing my throat. I turn fully, the shirt staying in my grip.

"Hey, Buttercup. Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah. I guess...What're you doing in here?"

"I just...needed to feel close to Ace...I hope that is okay..."

She looks around the room, taking in everything and where it is. She seems hesitant to move any farther than where she is as her hands grip the stuffed animal closer. Her body is stiff and clearly uncomfortable.

"Atlas wouldn't let anyone in here after..."

Her voice fades into the air, making me sigh. I keep the shirt in my hands as I step closer. It doesn't surprise me that Atlas would act that way, but it's not going to stop me from grieving our brother in my own way.

"It's okay that we're in here, Buttercup...you know Acacius wouldn't mind."

"I know...it's just..." her voice quivers, tears welling up as she sniffs. "I-it's hard to be in here with-with him gone...he's never coming back a-and it's-"

"Hey...hey..."

I bend down, immediately pulling her into a tight hug. Her chest shakes as deep sobs overtake her. I can do nothing but hold back my own tears as my baby sister completely breaks in my arms. My hands rub her back, my voice shaking as soft shushing sounds leave it. Yet my mind races with images of his death.

His body falling, blood soaking us both....his mouth struggling to form one word...his last breath...

"Listen to me...Aurelia listen to me..."

She sniffs away her sobs, pulling away to look me in the eyes. I wipe away a few fallen tears, fighting my own as a deep breath leaves me.

"Acacius may be gone, but he's still here with us. Every time we think of him, do something he loved, even wearing his clothes..."

"It's not the same! I'll never hug him again! Or see him smile or laugh! Acacius isn't coming back! An-and I miss him..."

Each word hits me like a bullet. My tears flow freely as Aurelia's start back up. I pull her into my chest once more, gently rubbing her back as we both sob. That's all I can do as the pain overwhelms me.

"I miss him too..."

We both calm down a bit after a few minutes, both of us still crying as I pull away. I look into her eyes as my free hand reaches up for the diamond necklace given to me yesterday.

"Can you keep a secret, Buttercup?"

She nods, reaching up to wipe away her fallen tears. My hands clip off the gold chain as a deep breath leaves me. Her greenish brown eyes watch my every move, confusion growing.

"You see this necklace?" She nods once's more as I continue, holding it up for her to get a better look at it. "This was the last gift Acacius gave me...his stylist was actually the one to give it to me but Acacius designed it. You see...the Capitol has a way to honor those who have passed. It's usually only used by the rich citizens but..."

"What?"

"Acacius had his ways. You see this big, beautiful diamond?" She nods, looking closer before looking back up towards me. "That's Acacius."

"What? How?"

"His ashes. The Capitol turned part of his ashes into this everlasting gem. And because of that, Acacius will continue to live with us."

Her watery eyes are wide as her hand reaches up to feel the charm. After a moment, she takes her hands away but keeps her eyes on the sparkling gem. I reach up to clasp it back onto my neck as her mouth opens.

"It's beautiful..."

"I know. But that's not the secret."

"Then what's the secret?"

"You get one as well. Aetos, Acacius's stylist, told me that they underestimated how long it would take to make all the gifts for you and the others."

"I get one?"

"Yep. And Sloan, Briar, Atlas, and even Sven. The secret that you have to keep is the surprise of these new gifts...think you can do that?"

She nods, a soft smile now draped over her tear stained cheeks. I make one back, grabbing back up the shirt I draped over my bent knees. Aurelia looks down at it, confusion growing once more .

"What're you doing with Acacius's spare dress shirt?"

"I'm going to wear it today to feel closer to him..."

"C-can I do that, too?"

"Of course, Buttercup. Come pick something out."

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