Love Me [Jim Halpert]

Four

HOT GIRL

"Are you listening to me, Michael?" Jan spoke over the phone as Michael placed pencils into his keyboard.

"Affirmative." Michael straightened up.

"What did I just say?"

"You just said--Let me, uh--check my notes." Michael folded and fiddled around with paper in front of him. "You just said--" He stuttered, licking his lips.

"Alan and I have created an incentive program--" Jan exhaled.

"Hey!" Michael stopped the woman. "Hey, how is Alan? Tell Alan that the Mets suck. Okay? From me, big time. Go Pirates!" He diverted the subject as he spun in his chair.

"Not gonna do that, Michael." Jan ended the discussion. "We've created an incentive program to increase sales. At the end of the month, you can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to a thousand dollars." She mentioned.

Michael's ears pricked, "Whoa, howdy ho. Wow, one thousand big ones. That's cool. Do I, uh, do I get to pick the prize?" He drew his teeth over his lower lip.

"Uh... yes. Yes, you can."

"Um, question: Does 'top salesman' include people who were at one time such outstanding salesmen that they've been promoted to--" Michael alluded.

"No, Michael." Jan decoded, stopping the boy in his tracks. "No, you can't win this prize."

Michael raised his brows, "I didn't mean me."

~

With the discussion with Jan over, Michael sat in his office chair pondering an idea, "Well, first we have to find out what motivates people more than anything else." He looked to the camera for input which was unresponsive.

"Sex," Dwight added sat on Michael's shelf.

"It's illegal. I can't do that. Next best thing." Michael ran his fingers through his eyebrows.

"Torture."

"Come on, Dwight. Just help me out here. That's stupid." Michael's head hung in his hands.

"Um, Michael--" Pam wandered into the room.

"Pam!" Michael signaled to the woman.

"Hey, there's--"

"Burger with cheese!"

"There's a person here--"

"And fries!"

"There's--"

"And shake!" Michael ended, sitting up in his seat. "What? Go ahead." He soothed himself.

"There's a person here who wants to sell handbags." Pam finally got her words out before Michael could interrupt him.

"No, no, no. No vendors in the office. That is a distraction." Michael denied it as he collected his splayed worksheets off his desk.