Cause I'm Really Not Fine At All (Larry Stylinson)

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Harry had called their personal doctor to come and checked on the passed out Louis. He was freaking out still about the whole incident and he felt guilty. He just wanted to help him get down, not having any intention to make Louis hurt more. Not even a whole week and Harry had made so many mistakes that made him very upset.

Currently, Harry was sitting by Louis’ side on the edge of the bed. He glanced down at Louis and he started to lean in. When his face was hovering over Louis’, an unexpected tear dropped from his eye, falling straight onto Louis’ cheek. He sniffled and leaned back before he brushed his hair away from his closed eyes.

“I’m a bad friend, Lou.”

More tears continued to run down his own cheeks. He stood up and made sure Louis looked comfortable in his bed then walked towards the door. He didn't deserve to be here and took good care of Louis. He failed since day one. He was just gonna ask one of the boys to stay with him. 

“H-harry?” A croaked voice called for him right before he turned the knob. 

Harry shut his eyes and exhaled a heavy sigh. He turned back and said, “What, Louis?”

“Are you going to break your promise?” Louis’ voice raised a bit. His saddened face made Harry feel bewildered. 

“What promise?”

Louis sighed before lifting half of the duvet off his body as if he invited Harry to join him in the bed.

“C’mere, Harry. You’ll stay here with me whether you like it or not. You said you’d make me tired of seeing you near me. I will give you a second chance and prove it to me. Just... don’t give up on me.”

Harry felt his feet frozen on the ground. There were so many questions in his head he wanted to ask, but he only managed to say, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m 101% sure. Hold me to sleep, I’ll do anything to be in your arms.” After the request, they snuggled up together with a smile on their face, satisfied with what the result of this turned out to be. 

Harry hoped it was as simple as that, but when he watched Louis was still sleeping in his king-sized bed he knew that they couldn’t work this out anymore. He couldn’t let himself being near Louis if he was just gonna hurt him. He was very certain that Louis didn’t want to do anything with him anymore. Let alone ask him to cuddle him after what he did last time. 

So after he closed the door, his hand roamed around the pocket of his tight jeans to find the device he looked for. Once he got it, he went straight to the number. He cleared his dry throat before pressing the phone to his ear and waited. “Hey, Niall. Are you available?”

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“You’re being ridiculous, Harry.” Niall gave Harry a look that made him seem like he grew three heads. 

Niall had come to Louis’ house right after Harry called him over about an hour ago. Harry told him everything he felt towards the whole thing which surprisingly he listened to it silently.

Harry even wondered if this is the real Niall or not, because Niall has never been this peaceful before. Harry let him be though, since he felt like he was gonna burst if he didn't let it all out to someone. 

“No, I’m not.” Harry denied, believing all of his opinion was rational enough for someone who understood what they were supposed to feel if they were in his shoes. “You are the one who is being ridiculous here.”

Niall snorted, hearing Harry’s low blow. He somehow forgot that he was talking to Harry who was younger and still acted stubborn with such a big ego to deal with. He sighed and brushed his hand on his hair. “You can’t just give up, Harry. He needs you the most right now. Especially after what happened with Jay.”

“No, he doesn’t. All this time he didn’t mention his mum and it’s alright. Don't you dare make it worse by him knowing his mum has passed away.” Harry shook his head rapidly, he knew Louis would have gone nuts if he did know about his mother and he couldn’t bear to see a sad Louis any further.

“But he has the right to know! The least we can do now is to make him learn what has happened these past few years and he may be able to remember again. Do you not want that?”

After hearing Niall’s words, there was a part of him that did not want that. He wanted Louis to become close to him like the old them, not like the last time he knew Louis before the accident happened.

Louis had become distant and acted like a brat by then. He got high every time he had free time, did the weeds and drank all variants of alcohol in the club possible which Harry didn’t even know the name of and chugged them like it was his last day on the planet.

Ever since he was with Eleanor, Louis had changed and his lifestyle was worse each day. He didn't even want to know if it was Eleanor who became a bad influence for Louis or something else. Harry just wanted his best friend to live a healthy life.

“If I'm being honest, I don't want Louis to remember some of the things in the past. He did nasty things before all of this happened.” Harry told him his thoughts.

Niall had a smirk prominent on his face, all the seriousness in him had vanished in seconds. “So you gotta be his boyfriend forever?”

“Oh God, no. I'm not even gay to begin with. You know what I mean.” Harry ran his hand through his silky brown hair. “He’s fine but–”

“But what?” 

An unexpected raspy yet high voice cut in, interrupting the conversation coming from their backs, making the two boys on the couch turn their bodies to see the source of it.

There was Louis, standing stiff with one shoulder propped his body against the door frame to his bedroom, watching them intensely with tears pooling around those pretty blue orbs.