~The Lost Daughter~

Chapter - 11

⚠️Torture and blood mentioned. Depressed and suicidal thoughts. Cursing. ⚠

Y/N'S POV:

I shut my eyes tightly as the whip came down again. One would think I'll be used to the pain but no. Every strike pained more worse than the one before. Every strive bought me closer to my death. Every strive made me lose my grip on life. Every strike dismissed any hope of escaping. 

I opened my mouth to scream as the frost giant rubbed salt in my wounds. Literally. I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so loud that the whole universe will be able to feel my pain just by hearing me scream. I wanted to scream for the sake of me. But nothing came out except blood. My throat burned and felt like a sandpaper on fire. My back............well I cannot even describe the pain after 20-somewhat whips.

The rope tied to my hands which made me hand by a rod was the only thing keeping me upright.  A bomb blasting off far away from the palace, distracted the frost giants. They mumbled something among themselves and left the room.

I was left alone in the dark room. But the darkness in my heart overpowered that. I'm on an alien planet, with no weapon what-so-ever. My shirt is barely covering me at this point. My pants are soaked with blood. My blood. My magic is automatically working to heal me, but it is not working. It must've been some magic of the frost giant who was torturing me. My skin is blue, my eyes blood red with weird lines all over me. My breathing is shallow. With every breath, the pain intensifies. My heartbeat started to slow down steadily. My adoptive family don't know what's happening to me. I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. I got to say the goodbye for five months but not a forever goodbye. 

It hurts. Everything hurts. I just want to let go. Dying seems like the best option. Looks like I'm finally going to hell. Yay! I've always wanted to die. Heck, I waited for death all the time. But now since the death's right in front of my eyes, I don't want to go. I don't understand the hesitancy in me. 

I didn't ask to be a monster. I didn't ask to be kidnapped. I didn't ask for powers. I didn't ask for anything! My entire life was spent training. Training and doing all the dirty stuff for others. I've always put others' wellbeing before mine. I never did anything for me. I never did anything which appeals me. I never killed anyone who hurted me. I've always killed people who H.Y.D.R.A. asked me to kill. I missed a big part of my life, being who I'm not, doing what others told me to, spending time in fear! And when I finally be free of all that shit, life says sike and here I am. Yet, for some reason, I don't want to die. 

Somewhere deep in me, I know I have hope. Hope for freedom. Hope for happiness. Hope for finally doing the teenage stuff like normal people. Hope of not living in fear. I know hope will only hurt me deeper. I know I shouldn't be hopeful for such delusional things. Because in the end, it is me who always gets hurt.

I know I act tough. I know I look tough. But I'm not. My heart's still there, just broken. But I fear what will happen if those pieces get taken away. I fear what'll happen to the universe, to the world, to the people I love, if and when I'll have not heart. No remnants of it. No traces of it. Nothing. Just emptiness. A void. An endless, unfillable void. A void that can be ignored and be lived with, if learned, but never filled or healed. A void together with anger and betrayal, a dangerous mix, will be a danger to all the races of living beings. Even for the person who has the void.

I can feel that void inside of me. I can feel it growing, desperate for blood and pleas of mercy. I can feel the storm in me brewing. A storm, which I've always kept inside of me with the hopes that it will vanish with time. But it did nothing but grow. And it'll continue to grow. Till the day I'll not be able to keep it in and finally let it out. That day will certainly be the end of me. Possibly even the mankind.